Sights and Sounds of Summer

Remembering the anniversary of Josiah's death

I've collected a lot of conversations this month as Isaac has been home.  I guess I'll start by recording those.  I hope he'll enjoy reading them one day.


On the morning of July 6th, the second anniversary of Josiah's death:

I said to Isaac, "What are some things we are sad about regarding Josiah?"  Isaac said a few things and then said without any prompting, "But Mommy, there are some happy things."  I asked him what those were and he responded, "That God let him be alive.  And we could tickle him."

*****

On the evening of July 6th:

Mommy:  We had a lot of fun today.  I think Josiah would have enjoyed it but he is having even more fun in Heaven.
Isaac:  I wonder if it's like a circus.
Mommy:  God created humans and humans thought up circuses so I think Heaven is even better than circuses because God is the creator of all.
Isaac:  Maybe it's like a circus and a birthday.
Mommy:  Wow.
Isaac:  Or maybe a circus, birthday and Christmas all mushed together.
Mommy: Every day.


*****

Visiting a friend's farm

Grandma Lucas was with the boys in the living room and she told them that she had two wonderful grandsons in them.  Isaac stopped for a moment and then said, "Three Grandma." and pointed to himself, then to Kohen and then up in the air.


*****  

Graham barbecued four very large hamburger patties for dinner one day and put them all on a large plate.  Isaac was concerned.
Isaac:  Daddy, you should barbecue more burgers because there are only four.  If this one is mine (touching it) and I want another one (touching the bun) then there are only two left.
Graham:  This one is for Mommy and this one is for Daddy.
Isaac:  What is Kohen going to have?  Mommy can share with Kohen.


*****

The brave adventurers at the viewing deck of the CN Tower.

Isaac was showing Grandpa how to play a game.  I was pleasantly surprised when he said to Grandpa, "What colour would you like to be?"  However, he followed that by, "I'll be yellow."  There are only two colours.

*****

Isaac tried to teach me the phrase, "Cool, eh?"  He told me that a friend at school had taught him to say, "Cool, eh?"


*****

I asked Isaac what people used for lights before electricity.  He answered, "Solar panels."


*****

Isaac: I wonder if Josiah has a birthday party in Heaven.  I think God gives him a bed for his birthday.  Every birthday they get a new bed.


*****

Isaac was trying to find a toy.  I suggested that he look in the basement.  He told me that he didn't think it was down there because taking it downstairs wasn't in his "picture maker" (this is how he often refers to his memory).  He agreed to go and look for it.  He was downstairs a long time so when he came up, I asked about the toy.  He said, "I was looking for it.  Then I asked God to help me find it and I started playing with my trains."

The toy was in the first bin I checked.   


 *****

I'm afraid I'm confusing Isaac about the food groups.  He was looking at my grocery list one day.  It's a printed list on my fridge with boxes that I check off and it's divided into different categories.  He said, "Mommy, did you know that eggs are dairy?"  I then explained why Graham had asked me to move 'eggs' to the dairy category as they are near where we buy our milk at the store.  The following day I was talking about pasta and Isaac said, "Did you know that pasta sauce is a grain?"

*****

Miniature train ride in Toronto

On July 1st our family planted yellow marigolds on Josiah's grave.  On the 5th all of our local family met at the grave site and we each placed an orange Gerbera daisy in the new permanent vase in front of the headstone.  We added extra daisies for each family that lives far away.  Isaac then led a walk around the cemetery, followed by a meal at our home.

On July 6th we went to Toronto.  Graham and Isaac went up the CN Tower after we all enjoyed a picnic lunch together.  Later we all enjoyed the aquarium next door.  We walked a little further to the south to see an old train roundhouse and go on a miniature train ride.  After some time at a playground, dinner and Starbucks, we headed home.  It was a nice to be in Toronto and remember Josiah by doing things we think he would have enjoyed. 

I am thanking God for cortisone.  My rheumatologist drained both of my knees and gave me cortisone shots in my knees and my elbow.  My entire body feels so much better and I have more mobility in my right arm than I've had in about four years.  Thank You Lord!  I was actually running outside with Isaac, playing tag.

The "firetruck" at Ronald McDonald House

Isaac had asked to visit Ronald McDonald House again (specifically the fire engine playground in the courtyard) so we were able to go there before my doctor's appointment in Toronto.  He enjoyed it.  It was nice to see him take Kohen's hand and tell him about the place. 

We often thought how perfect Isaac's personality and temperament were for all he had to go through during Josiah's life.  Let's just say we would have needed other plans with Kohen!  I hadn't thought until recently how Graham and my personalities also helped.  I remember our pre-marriage counsellor telling us that one our of challenges would be that we were both introverted and more melancholic and thus neither of us would be the party planner (or something like that).  However, I think these characteristics about us helped us to live apart during the weeks while Graham worked and I stayed at Ronald McDonald House.   

On July 7th Isaac and I started eating gluten-free and dairy-free due to see if it would help Isaac feel better.  His symptoms actually decreased dramatically from Day 1.  We have an appointment with a doctor in August so we'll see what our next steps will be.  Isaac has done a super job.  This week he did ask me how long we would need to eat like this.  He was a little sad to find out that Timbits have gluten.   

We had a fun time with the boys at Day Out with Thomas the Tank Engine last weekend.  Isaac's eyes were pretty big when he saw Thomas drive up to the station the first time.

Kohen being cheeky

Kohen is as cute and loud as ever.  He copies everything his big brother does, though he also thinks up great tricks all by himself - such as throwing things in the toilet and turning over the salt shaker.  I think he and Josiah would have gotten into lots of mischief together ... and no doubt their older brother would have joined them.  I'm wishing they could be together.

It's a little bizarre meeting new people, such as at a dinner party.  I wouldn't purposely bring up Josiah unless he naturally came up as it's a time of lighthearted conversation.  However, you can't know me unless you know about my beautiful son in Heaven.

Visiting Thomas the Tank Engine

We finished up our summer Bible study last night.  We are looking forward to having a little break before the fall.  Graham is taking a week off of work in August, though we have yet to decide what we'll do.  

I confess my likeness to Pharisees when I am in the grocery store, almost at the checkout and the cashier sees me but still puts up his 'closed sign'.  No biggie.  I'll just go in the only line that's open at 10:45 at night, right behind the person who has bought a month's supply of food.  No biggie - I'm thankful the store is still open.  As I finish putting all of my items on the counter, management has been asked to and has agreed to reopen the original line I was headed to, so most people behind me head over there while I wait.  I love grace ... when it works in my favour.  Oh how I wish I delighted in grace.  Thank you Lord that these people behind me do not have to wait.  Isaac just started telling me when things are not fair.  May I teach him (and me) to look for and delight in grace.

Picnic in the park

Three years ago today I rushed Josiah to the hospital and he was taken to Sick Kids for three and a half months.  How is it possibly three years ago?  I wish it were yesterday.  

Thanks for your prayers!

Blessings,
Elizabeth

John 1:16
For from His fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.

School is out!

Summer is officially here.  Isaac had his last day of Junior Kindergarten last week.  He is happy to be off but was very sad to hear that some of his teachers would not be returning.  I made us a roast beef dinner to celebrate, including his favourite pie - lemon meringue (this was bought).  I think it's still his favourite but he told me he doesn't like meringue.

Isaac was also able to open a big box after his celebration meal.  This family gift was a digital piano.  Isaac will be starting some music lessons in September.  

Isaac was at the kitchen table asking me how to spell some words.  He wrote, "Will we ever go to CN Tower?"  I'm not sure where this idea came from but he often asks us if we can go there.  It is on the summer list so it should happen before school starts.  I told him that he can go up with Daddy and I'll wait with Kohen at the bottom.  Graham emailed Isaac yesterday, just asking about his day.  Isaac responded by asking if they could go to the CN Tower and to the slash pad (possibly the one he enjoyed at Centre Island).

I asked Isaac to help Kohen with his shoes one day.  After I thanked him for trying to help he responded, "I'm a pretty good helper for a son."

Graham apologized to Isaac about something and asked if Isaac would forgive him.  Isaac said yes and then asked, "Would you like me to make you a card?"

Isaac to me: If I could fly around all the world and pick the moms, I would pick my mom and that's you.

Isaac to Graham: You are the best daddy I could ever have.

I was putting Isaac to bed one night when he started telling me where his classmates were on his spectrum from bad to good.  I think I was trying to test him so I asked, "Who do you think Jesus loves the most?"  He told me that Jesus loved the friend whom Isaac had decided was the worst (on his far left).  So, we discussed that and I tried to correct some theology.  He classified himself as quite good (to the far right) but then I asked him where he would place himself when he is at home and he quickly moved his hand closer to the centre.  Graham usually puts Isaac to bed and Isaac sometimes picks friends and prays that they will make wiser choices (obeying the teacher and not hitting or screaming, for example).

One definite highlight this month was our trip to Adventure Rooms with some friends.  I'm not allowed to give anything away so I'll just quote what's on the website: "Your group has 60 minutes to find its way out of a mysterious room.  This is accomplished by using logic, searching for clues and using unique items in the room to help you get through obstacles like locks and doors, etc."  Only 20% have escaped ... and we made it out!  We had 3 minutes and 5 seconds to spare!  I definitely want to do this again (they have a different room to escape from).  It was a lot of fun. 

In my last post I mentioned that Isaac wanted to give some of his books to children around the world to let them know about Jesus.  One of Graham's lovely cousins emailed us right away as she is heading to Guatemala and Tanzania in the next six months.  We were able to get the books to her and she's going to give them away for Isaac.  Isaac was excited as soon as we asked him if he'd like to do this and he went and found the same pile of books right away (including at least one book I would have loved to keep (and he would spend ages reading it) but thankfully I kept my mouth shut). 

Graham and I decided to visit the counsellor again.  It's always great to chat with him as he is smart, insightful, and seems to remember everything he has read.  He thought it was a good sign that I have anger (mainly in my head) as it shows movement in my grief from when I didn't have any feeling at all.  He also said that depression often follows anger.  I quickly responded, "I don't have time for depression," to which he laughed and countered, "Depression might have time for you."  I'm sure there are certain aspects of depression that are evident in my life.  Decisions and planning are more challenging.  The thought of planning trips or holidays seems really onerous.  We haven't even decided when Graham is taking holidays this year, though he is taking Monday off as it's the second anniversary of Josiah's death.  It's sad that it's been two years since I last held him close. 

I think I've finally made peace with peonies.  I've always thought they were beautiful but I haven't liked the way they are often draping on the ground.  I looked at them with distain until I recently decided that they take every ounce of beauty that God gives them and they bloom as big as they can with all the grandeur they can muster, offering themselves back to God, to bring Him pleasure.  They are full and heavy as they bow down their beauty before the God of all creation.  It's interesting to me how I can change my thinking about something if I am able to reframe my thoughts. 

I only nursed Kohen once today (before he went to bed tonight) so we are making progress with the weaning, but he also hasn't napped all that well the last few days.  If I wasn't dealing with arthritis, I wouldn't want to wean him yet as both of us still enjoy nursing.  I will miss it.  Nursing is Kohen's quietest and slowest part of the day. 

It's time to try to find a few photos and head to bed.  Happy Canada Day (a few minutes early)!  Happy Birthday Natasha!

Thanks for your prayers!

Blessings,
Elizabeth

Psalm 18:1-2
I love you, O Lord, my strength.  The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

May Memories

Pain is a great reminder that we're not in control.  I don't have severe pain but it doesn't take a lot of pain for me to be a little more emotional.  It helped me to cry a little tonight as I thought about Josiah's pains throughout his life.  He had various pains but I thought about his suctioning and taping and retaping when he was intubated.  Thank you Jesus that he never had to be intubated again after he came home.  I am thankful he is free from pain.

Kohen on the other hand is not free from pain.  I think he might be my permanently 'skinned knee' boy.  I don't recall Isaac getting skinned knees!  Kohen bounces back quickly.  He had minor bleeding at least twice last Thursday (not counting knees) but it didn't stop him for long.  His motto when he is with his mother: Why walk when you can run?  Why run when you can climb?  Why not yell?

Kohen has now lived longer than Josiah.  We reached that milestone last week.  I found a pair of size 2 pyjamas for Kohen in a bin of Isaac's old clothes.  Isaac saw them and told Kohen that there was also a pair of baseball and dinosaur pyjamas but that he probably wouldn't wear the dinosaur ones because there was a hole in the toe.  I was a little surprised and skeptical as Isaac has not worn size 2 pjs in a long time but the next day I looked in the bin and found the dinosaur pyjamas with the hole.  Josiah never wore pjs that large.  Isaac still tells us that he uses his 'picture maker' to take a picture of something and puts it in his brain.  I wish I had his memory.

We were at a birthday party last week and when we were leaving, a young friend of Isaac's asked Isaac which car was ours.  There were a number of shiny large SUVs around as well as nice large cars.  I love that Isaac pointed at our Tercel and said, "That blue car, the fancy one."  When I mentioned it to Graham, he told me the background story.  He and Isaac had gone to the carwash and then Graham told Isaac, "When Mommy sees the car, she's going to say, 'Look at the fancy car!'"

Isaac has started learning soccer with friends of ours.  He enjoys it and it's fun to watch him kick the ball.  I do need to remember my camera.  Kohen just hangs out with me and the other moms but both boys have worn their Ireland jerseys proudly. 

Isaac put a pile of books in the hallway the other morning and said he wanted to give them to other children around the world so that they could learn about Jesus.  I haven't figured out how to facilitate this request yet. 

I need wisdom in weaning Kohen (first from me and then from his soother).  Isaac weaned himself easily and Josiah didn't have an option so I'm new to this.  Kohen is not very interested in milk other than mine and he loves to nurse.  I like nursing him too but it's taking a toll on my body. 

Graham and I each celebrated birthdays this month.  I don't look forward to birthdays in the same way.  We each visited the cemetery on our birthdays. 

Our most exciting news is that we just bought a new mattress for our bed.  I am looking forward to getting in and out of the bed without it squeaking and we hope it helps with our sleep.

I must sign off.

Thank you for your prayers.

Blessings,
Elizabeth

Philippians 4:4-7
⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. ⁵ Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; ⁶ do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

April Adventures

I trust you all enjoyed a wonderful Easter celebration.  It's hard to believe Easter happened in this month as it seems like a long time ago.  I'm thankful for Jesus' death and resurrection as that is why I have hope today. 

Christ doesn't just give me hope for a better future, He gives me new life now.  I'm offered the fruit of the Holy Spirit in my life (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control).  I have an advocate in Heaven interceding for me.  Jesus showed me how to live, the Bible tells me how to live, and the Holy Spirit reminds me.  Jesus shows me that the God of the universe loves me unconditionally and desires me with His unquenchable love.  Amazing.

I am slightly disappointed that we didn't get Easter cards checked off our to-do list.  That means we'll be doing Christmas cards this year. 

We celebrated Josiah's birthday by going to a hotel with the boys and going swimming.  We returned home the evening of his birthday so I ran out to get a cake from the store as I didn't have time to make one.  I knew the exact cake that I wanted.  Except, when I went to get it, the whole endeavour became very stressful for me.  All of a sudden it became very important to get the right cake for a little boy's birthday (as opposed to the cake that would be delicious for me to eat).  There were tears as I asked them to put Josiah's name on the cake.  I'm always thankful for any unsolicited tears.   

I don't have many tears but I think three evidences of my grief are my anger (often inside my head), my current obsession with something I "need" to buy (for example, pizza stones), and my eating of junk. 

Last week at the women's Bible study I attend, I was able to share about God's amazing faithfulness throughout our Josiah journey.  It was very easy to make a huge list of all the blessings God brought our way and how He cared for us and prepared us so perfectly from before we knew that Josiah would have problems.  I'm not sure how many people know all the ways God prepared us so I'll have to write about that one day. 

Isaac attended his first Blue Jays baseball game.  He and Graham travelled there with many others from our church.  I wasn't ready to take a one year old to the Skydome so Kohen and I hung out at home.

Kohen finally had a new tooth today.  He's had six teeth for months.  Thus far he hasn't seemed to get too upset when he's been teething.  We finally took Kohen for his first haircut last Saturday.  He was well overdue for a cut.  

I'm really enjoyed meeting weekly with our Bible study group in our home.  I love that our ages span from the twenties to the eighties.  We also have a relatively new Christian who asks wonderful questions and four people were born in other countries.  We all bring our different ideas and experiences to the table as we discuss the Word of God.  We're studying Philippians and being challenged to live a life of humility and service, like Christ. 

Isaac and I have been enjoying doing some science experiments.  It's quite to fun to watch an Ivory soap bar expand in the microwave.  Our big soap cloud was then fun to play with at bath time.

Kohen is enjoying the library program that we attend.  It is a different experience from when I attended with Isaac.  Isaac would be happy to sit in my lap.  Kohen is a boy on the move.  Kohen loves to climb.  He'll climb onto chairs and then want to climb on the table.  He takes his toys and stands on them to help him climb onto other things.  He has now had his first trip to the ER.  Thankfully he was fine after a fall.  I was actually in and out of the hospital in an hour and we had such a lovely doctor.

It's been fun seeing Kohen learn some signs like please, thank-you, and more.  He has the softest, smoothest cheeks and a joyous smile.  He loves to be outside and gets excited if he sees a bird.  He is also Mr. Drama who throws his head back when his plans are foiled by his parents.

I'm currently wishing that I had a degree in Child Discipline.  Enabling people to procreate must be one of God's key strategies for getting people to realize that they don't have a clue and need His wisdom.  At least it's working that way for me.

It's time to think about my bed.  Thank you for your prayers.  I'll add photos another day.

Blessings,
Elizabeth

1 Corinthians 1:18
For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

March Musings

Kohen's first birthday

Well, it's that time again - the last evening of the month - so it's time to capture some memories before the clock strikes midnight.

It was fun to have family over for Kohen's first birthday in early March.  It was so nice to have extra space in the basement for kids to play.  I often thank God for the basement as I walk down the stairs.  Friends even blessed us with a train table that they no longer wanted.  Isaac was very excited by the surprise. 

Isaac at the sugar shack

Last Friday night we started sleep training Kohen.  Since that time I haven't fed him at night and I've been able to stay in bed all night as Graham has gone in to him when he's cried.  We used the Ferber method this time and it seems to be working very well.  It amazes me how quickly the brain figures things out.  I suppose I will soon start to fully wean Kohen, though I enjoy nursing him.  I often think of Josiah when I'm nursing as I nurse in the chair where I rocked Josiah.   

Isaac and I had a fun time visiting his Grandpa F.'s sugar shack.  We helped collect sap and then watched it boil and be put into jars.  It was a nice adventure.    

Isaac told me that Chippy and Skippy send him an email every night while he's sleeping, to tell him things that he doesn't know.  For example, one email apparently told him how to get inside of walls.  They told him to use a chainsaw.  I told him he was too young to use a chainsaw as it's dangerous, but he thought he had a toy one that would work.  Isaac made out of construction paper a "Bubble Thought Machine" that he can use to send bubble thoughts to me when he is inside a wall.  He thought he could send out the message, "Is dinner ready?"  and he told me that I write down the answer and send it back through the wall. 

Isaac's drawing of his trains

One afternoon I told Isaac what I'd learned at the Bible study I'd attended that morning.  I then asked him what he'd learned at school.  He said, "I think Mrs. ___ and Ms. ___ love God."  I asked him why he thought that and he answered, "When they sing O Canada, they say, 'God keep our land.'"  Sadly, I needed to explain to Isaac that not everyone who sings the anthem actually loves God. 

"In Chippy and Skippy World they don't run out of bananas.  Jesus gives more."'

I was explaining to Isaac one day that some people do not have doctors.  Isaac told me, "Jesus could be their doctor."

In the washroom Isaac said, "I wish we were all in Heaven."  I asked him, "Why?"  He responded, "Because we could all have fun together with Josiah."

I was happy to hear from one of Isaac's Sunday School teachers that after they spoke about King Josiah, Isaac put up his hand and told that class that he had a brother Josiah. 

We started a weekly Bible study in our home so it's nice to be doing that again.  We're studying the book of Philippians. 

I remembered that I went through a phase in elementary school of reading what I called "dying books."  Someone had either died or was dying or getting a disease, etc.  I thought I'd try to read them to help me cry.  I'm happy to say that it actually worked.  In the first book I just cried for the character but in the second book I was able to cry for Josiah.  

I also recently watched a documentary that reminded me of the power of music.  I thought I'd search for some sad classical music to help me access my emotions.  It didn't work while trying to do the dishes but it might help if I'm able to be by myself.  Perhaps I'll try it during Kohen's nap.  However, I came across a Youtube video of an Ode to Joy Flashmob that I'd previously seen and that brought tears and thoughts.  "Joyful, joyful, we adore Thee, God of glory, Lord of love ... Giver of immortal gladness, Fill us with the light of day!"  I haven't figured out the right words, to say what I want to say but ... it's awesome to serve a God who is bigger than my son dying; a God who is in control and always worthy of adoration, praise and worship ... even when He didn't intercede to save my son.  I serve a God who loves me and sees the whole picture and He asks me to trust Him and love Him come what may.  Who would want to serve a lesser god?

Kohen likes to climb!

Kohen is a very loud sweetheart.  He discovers things that Isaac never cared about.  Almost all of the plants have now left our home.  I called Poison Control the other day because Kohen ate some of a plant.  Later that day he knocked over a lamp and glass went everywhere.  I am very thankful that no one was hurt.  I was reading some posts from his first few weeks which reminded me that he was loud from the beginning.  Isaac sometimes puts his hands over his ears and says, "No!  That's too loud Kohen!"

Thank you for your prayers! 

Blessings,
Elizabeth

Philippians 1:9-11
And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.

Almost One!

Seeing newborn chicks at a farm

Graham returns to work on Monday as his parental leave has come to an end.  Kohen is going to be surprised Monday morning when I put him in his snowsuit instead of putting him down for his nap.  As always, God had perfect timing for Graham to be off.  Kohen has been sick and on antibiotics three times during Graham's time at home so it's been very helpful to let him sleep instead of taking him out.

Graham and Isaac had a Daddy-son date today.  They saw the Three Musical Pigs put on by the KW Symphony.  Isaac's going to miss spending the extra time with Graham.  He's already asked if he can go with Graham to work.

Putting shelves together

Graham is looking forward to going back to work.  I think he needs a break!  He has spent hours painting our basement this past month and putting shelves together and moving boxes. We are excited to have a usable basement (almost).     

Some Isaac moments to keep me laughing when I'm old:

A washroom conversation with Mommy:
Isaac: Can you ask God to tell me who my wife will be?
Mommy: I don't think He'll tell us.
Isaac: Why not?
Mommy: Surprises are fun.
Isaac: Can she please tickle our children?
Mommy: [I prayed that Isaac's future wife will tickle their children ... and a host of other things.]

A washroom conversation with Daddy:
Isaac: What do you think I'm going to be when I grow up?
Daddy: Whatever you want to be.
Isaac: Whatever God wants me to be.

As Graham parked the car at school to drop off Isaac in -25 degree weather:
Isaac:  Let's pretend we're under a shady tree eating ice cream.

At the kitchen table with Mommy:
Isaac: When will Josiah come down?  Maybe we can ask Jesus to bring him down.

Kohen is enjoying his new mobility. He always gravitates towards whatever is off limits.  He is Mr. Drama and throws his head back with loud protests whenever we impede his desired outcome. I have figured out that he is a cat.  He is cuddly and lovely with the softest cheeks and he's sweet and cute ... and he'll swipe his claws at your face with speed and accuracy and make noises that must cause the neighbours to wonder what is going on.  He is usually loud and often very playful.  He throws his food and our rebukes or turning his chair to face away from the table is initially met with his laughter.

It's hard to believe but we are celebrating Kohen's first birthday this week.  The day after he'll receive the gift of three needles at his doctor's office.  I'm so thankful for our medical system.  If I had a medical concern right now, I could call a number and speak with a nurse (as I did last week when Kohen's temperature was 104 degrees). 

Graham and I will be hosting a Bible study in our home, starting in a few weeks.  We are looking forward to it.

My computer is not making happy sounds, so I'll say goodnight.  I may have to add photos later.  Thanks for your prayers!

Blessings,
Elizabeth

1 Chronicles 16:11
Look to the Lord and His strength; seek his face always.

First steps!

Well, January has flown by.  Yesterday, Kohen took his first few steps without holding onto anything.  It's exciting to watch our boys grow and develop.

I have another month of Isaac conversations.  I hope he enjoys reading these when he's older.  I know I will enjoy remembering.  Isaac seems to have turned some sort of corner.  A couple of weeks ago both his school teachers and his Sunday school teachers told us that we have a chatterbox (who still listens attentively).  He's also been chatting with workers helping us renovate our basement as well as store employees.  We've known for a long time that he's talkative but it's nice that he's comfortable sharing that part of himself in other environments.

We keep our bathroom door closed as Kohen will head straight for the bathtub and toilet any time the door is open.  Isaac knows to check if anyone is in the washroom before entering.  One day I just went into the washroom to get something.  When I returned to the kitchen Isaac said, "Mommy, when you go in the bathroom, you really should knock.  I think Chippy was in there."  I answered, "I didn't see him."  Isaac responded, "He was in there."  (Chippy is the chipmunk in the Chippy and Skippy stories that Graham tells Isaac.)

***

I saw Isaac sitting on the couch one morning, looking at Josiah's photo across the room. He said, "I'm just remembering."

***

I was cuddling with Isaac and Kohen on the chair in Kohen's room.  I said, "You are lovely boys."  Isaac replied, "I think Kohen is the loveliest."

***

At the breakfast table one morning we were listening to some music and I was commenting on some of the lyrics.  Isaac told me, "Mommy, when I was only two, on one of my apps on Daddy's iPod, Jesus said we didn't have to worry about anything."


***

Isaac often likes to whisper things in our ears.  Graham, Isaac, and I were going to go ice skating one afternoon.  Isaac asked to whisper in my ear and told me, "Actually I'm not going."  I let him know that he was going.  He said, "When I was little I couldn't say the word 'actually' but now I can."  (He went skating.)

***

Mommy: Isaac, did you say good morning to Jesus this morning?
Isaac: Maybe just Josiah.
Mommy: Do you say good morning to Josiah every morning?
Isaac: Yes.

***

Graham often uses the analogy of carrying heavy luggage to explain to Isaac why some things are too old for him.  Tonight Graham told Isaac he needed to preview something first to make sure it would be appropriate for Isaac to watch.  He again brought up the idea of luggage being too heavy for Isaac to carry.  Isaac told Graham that sometimes little boys can push the heavy luggage on wheels. 

***

Sleeping at Grandma and Grandpa's house

While in the car on the way to Grandma and Grandpa Lucas' home, Isaac said he wanted to sleep over at their house.  I said we would need to ask them when a good night would be for him to sleep over and plan it.  He said, "Maybe they'll say tonight is a good night."  As you can see from the photo, the conversation went just as Isaac hoped it would.

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I'm enjoying listening to the group Rend Collective.  I liked what one member of the group said on an online video I watched:


"Recently we made a theological breakthrough as a community and it has changed everything about our approach.  We realized that seriousness is not a fruit of the Spirit but joy is.  We come with a gospel worth celebrating before a celebrating King and we think our response as worshipers should be obvious. ... We need to get down to the serious business of joy because the joy of the Lord is our strength.  And after all, heaven's going to be the greatest party of all time and we need to start practicing now.  So don't get caught up in your guilt or failure.  You are forgiven.  You are free and you're worth more to God than you can ever imagine."

It seems completely impossible that Josiah wasn't here this time last year.  I actually stop and think and calculate the dates to convince myself that it's really been as long as it's been since I held him.  Time with Josiah seemed to expand in some ways.  It doesn't seem like we've had Kohen very long and yet so much had happened in Josiah's life by the time he was 11 months old and in a few months Kohen will be the same age as Josiah was when he passed away.

I facilitated at a Bible study last week and I was reminded of how much I enjoy that.  It causes me to dig a little deeper in the Bible and I get more excited about the material.  Part of the lesson was on submission in marriage.  Some people are put off by that word but I think it's an incredibly powerful and beautiful idea and ideal.  Its implementation is usually flawed due to human error but the potential in choosing to serve another and putting them first, out of love, is an amazing picture.

We will soon be able to use our basement for something other than storage.  Graham and I are both very excited to move most of the toys downstairs.  It would be so nice if it could be finished by the end of February but that will depend on when the carpet arrives.  Graham was busy painting today.

Thank you for your prayers!

Blessings,
Elizabeth

John 14:6

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.