End of June

I love splashing at bath time!

In many ways I don't want July to come.  As I daily read the blog entries from last year, I'm watching a play unfold and I know what's coming, though the actors are unaware.  A year ago today I found out I was pregnant and happily informed Josiah that he was going to be a big brother.  How is it possible that in a few days we will reach the first anniversary of Josiah's death?

Tonight we watched a show in which people knew death was coming and they were able to say goodbye.  I trust that God knew what was best for everyone but I do sometimes daydream about what it would have been like to know that Josiah was dying then.  How I would have held him and kissed him and told him how proud we were of him and how thankful we were for him and how much we loved him.  Or, would I have simply begged Jesus for more time?  I would have wanted the boys to be together.  Isaac would have given him kisses.

Yesterday I cried in church as I remembered Josiah's final Sunday last year.  On that day many people commented on how well he looked.  Both Graham and I were able to cry the Saturday evening after a show helped us trigger some emotion.  It may have been the first time we've cried together.

On Friday we went to approve the final draft of Josiah's headstone.  It will be put up this week and our local family will visit the cemetery on Sunday.  I could have cried more then but I had two boys to drive home.  On Saturday I was hoping for a miracle.  One of Josiah's favourite toys was a red helicopter that made sounds and had a British accent.  We received it at the hospital.  I think we last saw it shortly before his death.  It's been on my to-do list to go to the funeral home to make sure that it didn't get mixed up with the toys there as we took most of Josiah's toys for the visitations.  It was quite silly but I looked under every possible cushion and behind curtains, ever hopeful.

Isaac is regularly asking us why Josiah died.  Of course, there isn't an answer that will suffice for any of us.  

We went to the Brantford Zoo on Saturday and had a good time.   

Introducing the boys to the World Cup

Graham has introduced Isaac to soccer (football) via the Internet and the World Cup.  Isaac told us that he's going to play in the World Cup.  I guess he should join a team at some point.  It won't happen this year so hopefully it won't be too late to start him at four and half years of age, next year.  :)  By the way, Kohen only watched the game for a couple of minutes (in the photo to the left). 

Isaac is a sweet boy.  We were in the grocery store and they didn't have something I was wanting.  I said, "Mommy's a little sad."  He immediately wanted to give me a hug.

I try to be discreet when I'm nursing Kohen.  This week Isaac asked me if I had a hole in my tummy (in order to feed Kohen).  He also asked me when Kohen would be a big brother.  I told him that would mean that we'd need to have another baby and asked him if he thought we should.  He answered yes.  I told him we'd have to see what God wants.  Mommy and Daddy aren't ready to entertain that discussion. 

Reading to Kohen

Kohen is happier and it's easier to obtain a smile.  He laughs when I hang him upside down and swing him.  He likes playing peekaboo and having airplane rides.  Getting him to sleep is a little more challenging because he just rolls onto his tummy and then starts crying.  That also happens in the night and wakes him up (and therefore wakes me up).  I think he has the most energy out of all three boys at that age.  He wants to move.

I need to get to sleep.  Thanks for your prayers!

Blessings,
Elizabeth

^{` Corinthians 15:54-55
54} When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written:

“Death is swallowed up in victory.”
⁵⁵ “O death, where is your victory?
    O death, where is your sting?”