In the House of the Lord

It feels like both a day and an age since he was in my arms.  Last year Josiah woke us for the last time at 5:42 on the Saturday morning - this time it was Isaac who was crying then.  I replayed what happened in my head until 8:30 AM when they stopped CPR.  I reread the blog entries, remembering.  I sang the "We miss you Josiah" song with Isaac as I made waffles for breakfast.  Isaac asked me again why Josiah had to die.  We blew Josiah kisses.  

My parents just returned from a month in Northern Ireland and England.  It was great to welcome them back.  Isaac gave Grandma lots of kisses.  I remember when I was a child how wonderful it felt to return home after a vacation.  That feeling of home is hard to articulate.  I suspect upon reaching Heaven, one experiences the ultimate feeling of being at home and being where one belongs and really, being in that place where one has always longed for.  I'm glad Josiah can experience that. 

I wrote the above last night but I just kept falling asleep and couldn't finish the post.  Even though today is the 6th, it felt like the anniversary of Josiah's death was yesterday as it all happened on a Saturday.  I ended the day by watching the 8 minute presentation of photo clips that we showed at the funeral.

Upon arriving at church this morning, our pastor's wife gave me a hug and whispered, "We'll never forget."  Thank you.  Thank you to everyone who hasn't forgotten.  Please don't forget my baby with the beautiful blue eyes, incredible smile, and soft curly hair: Josiah Nathanael Gabriel Faulkner.

Isaac asked me again tonight why Josiah died.  We usually ask Isaac why he thinks Josiah died and he talks about his sick heart.  He'll also ask me why we prayed for Josiah.  We say that we know God could have healed him but we don't know why he didn't.  Tonight I told Isaac that God wanted to do amazing things through Josiah's death - things we haven't seen yet.    

Today all our local family ate lunch together and then went to the cemetery.  The headstone was installed on Thursday so today was the unveiling.  On the stone there's a scene with a lamb in a field.  On our first visit to McMaster Hospital, the day we found out what was wrong with Josiah when he was in utero, Graham found a beautiful picture book of the 23rd Psalm - The Lord is My Shepherd.  I love the illustrations.  The scene on the headstone is from this book and the verse at the bottom is Psalm 23:6.  My nieces read the book and then we sang the 23rd Psalm and each person placed a rose on the gravesite.  We enjoyed a walk around the cemetery and then ate ice cream cake for dessert.

Actually, when Graham picked up the cake he chatted with a stranger whose husband died just two months ago and whose daughter died sometime before that.  Graham was able to give her information about The Coping Centre as it was very helpful to us.

Each day I've been reading last year's blog entries.  They are great reminders of the countless blessings we received for which we are so thankful.  God's timing throughout this journey has been perfect.  God gave us beautiful memories with Josiah.  We anticipate a glorious reunion. 

Psalm 116:15 says, "Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints."  The thought came to me this week - I wonder if there were angels around us and with Josiah as he passed away.  Our nurse dreamed that night that a stranger came and took away Josiah in his stroller and the nurse couldn't find him.  There was one short moment that Graham and I remember when something happened and Josiah looked so afraid.  I hope an angel was there to calm his fear and let him know that he was about to meet Jesus.  I'm so thankful he will never fear or be in pain ever again.

Josiah, your Mommy and Daddy and your two brothers love you and miss you.  Catch our kisses.

Thank you for your prayers.

Blessings,

Elizabeth


Psalm 116:15
Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints.