Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Tonight we say good-bye to 2016 and usher in the new year quietly.  The children are sleeping and I am typing in a messy living room - our home has yet to recover from birthday celebrations and Christmas blessings.

We had a lovely Christmas, spending a few days with Graham's parents in Listowel.  My parents joined us for part of Christmas day.  Growing up, I don't think we were ever with another relative apart from our immediate family on Christmas Day so what a blessing for our kids to be with both sets of grandparents at the same time!

I was happy to be able to continue my tradition of being in a Christian Reformed Church on Christmas morning which helped me to at least get teary eyed, thinking about Josiah.  It's rare to go to a place where I feel different and a little out of place and obviously a stranger to everyone else in the room.  Getting out of my regular space helps me to focus on Josiah for a little while.  I guess that is a Christmas gift to myself and Graham is sweet enough to come along with our noisy children (well, Lily-Anna wasn't too noisy). 

We have actually been enjoying the winter weather which is quite surprising for us.  We went skating as a family (minus Lily-Anna) and then Graham and his dad took the boys out sledding.  The five of us tried to go yesterday.  We safely attached Lily-Anna's carseat to a sled (just for horizontal travel) but she wasn't too excited about the arrangement after a time and Kohen wasn't interested in the big hill so our trip was shorter than planned.

We went to the cemetery today and Graham built a snowman in front of Josiah's grave.  Hopefully no one else will mind.  The snow was perfect.  We enjoyed throwing some snow around and the boys had fun being pulled on the sled while Lily-Anna slept in the stroller.

Our most exciting news is that Graham is starting his paternity leave.  It's perfect timing for the cold winter months and also this is usually around the time when my body and joints start to protest the weight of the baby who needs to be carried around.

I borrowed Mary Poppins from the library.  It was fun to snuggle with Isaac and Kohen and watch them laugh.  It's the first real movie we've shown Isaac, though he has seen some animated ones at school.  Unfortunately, the music playing when Mr. Banks had to go back to the bank in the evening was a little scary for Kohen and he's brought it up a few times.  He put his hands over his ears and then left the room.

I've realized the last few months that I seem to be missing a lot of memories of Kohen.  I actually looked back at the blog and was pleasantly surprised to see lots of photos of him smiling along with stories.  I saw a photo of him in the exersaucer which was great because I had had no memory of him in one.  Mom told me the other day that Kohen always makes her laugh and looking back she sees how God kept him safe inside my womb and kept me from intense grief while he was growing.

One of the songs that the boys sing goes like this: "Do to others, do to others, what you would have them do to you ...."  Lately, when Kohen and Isaac are arguing and things are not going Kohen's way he'll say forcefully, "Do to others Isaac!"

I found December to be very busy.  Isaac was in a piano recital the first weekend, followed by his birthday party the second weekend (God really helped that come together, as did my parents who helped me make swords and noodle horses for the boys), and then a birthday dinner with family the following weekend, followed by Christmas and now New Years.  I've been sad because I wasn't able to do all the Advent stuff that we did last year and Isaac asked for all of it again.  I couldn't figure out where the time went for us until I realized that I always nurse and put Lily-Anna to bed right after dinner while the boys are getting ready for bed.  She still takes her time nursing before bed but nursing is one of my favourite things to do.  I get to nourish my sweet daughter in my arms while resting in a comfortable chair often in the dark.  Apparently she enjoys it too as she's up a couple of times in the night to feed.  It would be helpful to get more sleep but we'll wait until she's a little older to stop her night feeds.

It was fun to attend Isaac's Christmas concert at school as well as a play in his classroom.  He wanted to be in the choir and even auditioned to have a few talking lines.  Neither Graham nor I think we would have done that at his age so we're happy he has some confidence.

Lily-Anna is doing much better at eating.  It took her a good couple of weeks to figure out swallowing and then another couple of weeks for her to consistently open her mouth for food.  Now we're just hoping for teeth.

2016 brought us the joy of having Lily-Anna but it also brought some hard times.  We are happy to welcome the new year with its new hopes and possibilities.

In late November we had a 15-minute mini session at a photographer's home.  We were very surprised and happy with the resulting photos we have posted.

Thanks for your prayers.  May you and yours know and experience the love, joy, and peace of Jesus in 2017.

Blessings,
Elizabeth

2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.  

December here we come

Lily-Anna is six months old!  The boys are always saying how beautiful she is and how she is the most beautiful baby.  They like to give her zerberts and make her laugh.  She has just started rice cereal but she certainly needs more practice.

Thankfully Graham is better.  He said he's never been more sick and this certainly ranks up there with the hardest thing we've ever gone through - which seems really crazy.  Graham was off work for two and a half weeks.  We had amazing support from family and friends.  I'm so thankful that God spared Lily-Anna, Kohen, and our parents from sickness, not to mention me.  I was picturing myself totally wiped and trying to nurse a baby.

I haven't written much the last few months so I'll provide a little update.  Isaac has had a good transition to his new school.  He changed schools for French Immersion and he is loving the French and often singing French songs.  He made a good friend right away which was an answer to prayer.

We are excited to have a new lead pastor at our church.  He and his family started on Thanksgiving weekend.  We had been without a lead pastor for over a year but God has perfect timing.

I spoke about Josiah at a women's event at our church.  Many people thought it would have been hard for me to do this.  It's not hard to speak about Josiah.  I like speaking about him, hearing his name, remembering him.  The prep work is the hard part and the nerves of wanting the presentation to go well and bring God glory.

We are studying 2 Corinthians in the Bible study that meets in our home weekly.  It's such a great reminder that God uses suffering for His glory and as we read tonight that God told Paul, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  I wonder if most of us have something similar to a "thorn in the flesh" that we just want God to remove from our life but its purpose is to keep us humbly reliant on God and allows His power to be at work in us.  It's a good challenge for me to think about my attitude towards my list of personal weaknesses.

Speaking of weaknesses, I have a birthday party to plan for Isaac.  Have I mentioned that I find birthday parties overwhelming?  I actually finally signed up for Pinterest because I thought there would be helpful ideas for a knight party ... and there were.  Wow - Pinterest could be overwhelming too!  It keeps telling me about new amazing desserts that I would love to eat.

Graham took the boys to Niagara Falls in late September.  They drove his parents to the airport and then he called me a few hours later and told me that they were in Niagara Falls.  My first thought apart from "Where is my husband and what did you do to him?" was "Please don't let go of Kohen!" They all returned safely.

Perhaps Kohen will be an artist one day.  I've dealt with marker on furniture, crayon and pencil on the wall, pencil crayon on the fridge, and pen on the chairs.  Clearly I need to find a new location for the writing supplies!

Kohen asked me one night why Jesus died.  I gave him a long-winded answer and then he told me it was "because they ate the fruit."  I guess he is listening in Sunday school and to the Bible stories before bed.  He also asked me why Josiah died and told me, "It is very very very sad that he died."

Lily-Anna has been having lots of practice on her tummy and it seems like she's getting stronger every day.  I think she's sweet and lovely and beautiful.  And yes, I want to eat her up. She is Miss Serious in public and whenever the camera is out but she can also give the loveliest smiles and laughter - often when she is at the change table.

I had a conversation with a friend tonight.  It reminded me that Satan is active and so ready to deceive and cause havoc.

It's time to head to bed before Lily-Anna wakes me up.  She now wakes up on her tummy but she's getting more used to it.
Thanks for your prayers.

Blessings,
Elizabeth


1 Peter 5:8 Be alert and of sober mind.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

Isaac riding his bike

On the mend

Graham made it outside to our backyard yesterday and today to practice walking.  It's a slow shuffle but he's making progress.  It was a nice treat for the boys as they sat outside while Graham told them a Eugene story.  They are missing their daddy time.

We are very thankful that Graham is moving in the right direction.  Friends and our Bible study group (these are not mutually exclusive!) are blessing us with meals.  A friend was able to come for a visit yesterday and it was such a breath of fresh air to chat and laugh.  Graham said we sounded like teenage girls.

Isaac returned to school today and Kohen spent some time this morning with his grandparents so I was able to get some cleaning and disinfecting done.

I need to get Isaac's lunch ready and then I can head to bed.  Thank you for your prayers!

Blessings,
Elizabeth

2 Corinthians 4:18
¹⁸ So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.     

God showed up ...

... though of course, He is always with me.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your prayers and encouraging notes!  This was a wonderful, productive day (one of my most productive days at home, ever).  God answered your prayers!

Isaac came to find me at 6:30 this morning and then Lily-Anna needed feeding which is when I heard Kohen wake up loudly, confirming that I had been wise to put a waterproof tablecloth down on the loveseat before I added the sheets and Kohen.  I put Lily-Anna down and helped Kohen.  Kohen was sneezing a little and told me he didn't feel well so I cancelled my plan to send him to my parents' home, though they tried to convince me to let them come and get him.  I was searching for places to call to see about hiring a nurse.  I called but it was too early - no answer.  Then I realized that they would need a home assessment and time so I emailed an apparent nurse on Kijiji and she wrote a nice note back with a number to call.

And then ... God changed the atmosphere.  I don't actually know the exact moment when it changed but I was singing, "God is changing our story" over and over again.

Lily-Anna had two good naps in her crib, all five of us had (separate) baths or showers (even Elmo had a bath!), Isaac's chest x-ray report said that no follow-up was needed and he only had Advil twice today, lots of laundry was done, and I was able to play Mastermind with Isaac while everyone else slept.  Lily-Anna is rolling onto her tummy which made me realize how thankful I am that she is not crawling or eating real food while we have been going through this time.  We welcomed Graham's parents back from their trip out of the country, and we were blessed with some delicious-smelling food for tomorrow's supper along with other offers and we enjoyed some snacks that a friend dropped by last night.  We are blessed.

And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. (Mark 4:39)


I love these words that a friend sent: 
"Dear Elizabeth,
All is well with you and your household. ‎ We will continue to pray and trust God for complete healing.  Be encouraged, God is able to deliver."

Graham still needs a touch.  We are thankful that he had a little more energy by the end of the day.  The kids and I were praying for Graham to have health and hope.  We continue to pray and thank you for your prayers.

Blessings,
Elizabeth

2 Corinthians 4:7-8
⁷ But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. ⁸ We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;

In Need of Prayer

Hi Everyone,

There's so much to write and no time to do so.  Graham has pneumonia and has been in bed for five days straight and isn't much better.  He's on antibiotics but we're wondering if it is perhaps viral pneumonia.

We had scheduled a doctor's appointment for Isaac this afternoon because he had the same symptoms Graham had when this started - a fever, he threw up, and had chills.  I woke him up to go see the doctor and he was wide-eyed and incoherent and speaking gibberish and screaming and asking me to help him.  I called the doctor's office and they said I should take him to emerge.  He was better by the time we arrived at the hospital so I think that episode had to do with waking him up - perhaps he was still half asleep.  The x-ray showed congestion on his lungs but the doctor wasn't sure if it was pneumonia and said someone would look at the x-ray tomorrow and send a report to our doctor's office.  So, I am giving Isaac Tylenol and Advil.

Sweet, two-and-a-half year old Kohen put himself to sleep on the couch as I was nursing a sad Lily-Anna who had just woken up.  I woke Kohen later to go pee and then he was inconsolable so he ended up watching Paw Patrol at 10:30 PM as Isaac was calling me.   Kohen is sleeping on the loveseat and I'm on the couch.

I have lots to do before Lily-Anna wakes up to feed (she'll only sleep on me or in the swing during the day).  If Kohen doesn't cough at all tonight then we're going to assume he's fine and he'll be with Grandma and Grandpa tomorrow.  The high risk categories for pneumonia are over 65 years and 2 and under.  Lily-Anna only nurses and she's never had a bottle.  We are praying that the three of us stay healthy.  I see what this has done to Graham (five days later I pick up his water for him) so I'm wondering what it will do to Isaac, etc.

So, please pray for us.  I said today that I am going to trust God through this.  We're studying suffering in our Bible study so I have lots of reflections but no time to write.  Thanks for any prayers!

Blessings,
Elizabeth

August Adventures

I'm trying to catch up on the blog by recording what we did in August as October is quickly approaching.  We were all blessed as Graham was able to take three weeks off in August.  We spent some time with family and were also blessed with a week at a cottage at Braeside, a Christian camp that's not far away from us.  The boys had fun swimming in the pool with Graham and we all enjoyed ice cream from the tuck shop.

Additionally, Isaac took some swimming lessons at our local pool, we went to the Brantford Zoo, friends came over, we went to a farm, we slept over at Graham's parents' property in the trailers (enjoying a campfire with s'mores), and we had our fourth annual trip to Centre Island on the Saturday before school started.  I will leave the school update for my next post but suffice it to say that Isaac is loving grade one French Immersion at his new school.

I was thinking back on July and realized that I didn't mention what we did on the third anniversary of Josiah's passing.  Isaac was at camp during the day and Graham had a number of off-site meetings he needed to attend so it was a little less memorable this year.  We went to McDonalds for dinner (in honour of the blessing of Ronald McDonald House) and then we took flowers to Josiah's gravesite.  This is the first summer that we haven't visited Ronald McDonald House.  I had forgotten until recently that Isaac had written that on his wish list for things to do this summer but he didn't bring it up all summer.

I think this was also the first year that I didn't relive what happened on July 31st in 2012 when I had to rush Josiah to the hospital.  I think it's a gift that it turned out to be the same date of Lily-Anna's dedication to the Lord.

It looks like Isaac may have high standards for his future wife.  For some reason I was talking to him about how we pray he'll marry a godly woman one day.  He replied, "Hopefully there will be a godly woman around here but if not I may have to go to a distant land and find her.  You'll be able to visit though and we'll visit."

Kohen has figured out what we do when we see or hear emergency vehicles.  We were sitting in the kitchen and he heard an ambulance so he said we needed to pray.  He was in the van last night with Graham and Isaac and they passed a vehicle burning on the highway.  He said they should pray.

Kohen has also started us on a new tradition.  Whenever we pass Josiah's cemetery, we will say something out loud like, "We love you Josiah.  We miss you.  We wish you were here."  Or, we'll sing our Josiah song.  The other day we passed a different random cemetery and Kohen said, "We love you Josiah."

Though this is August's update, it is counting as my September entry as I won't be able to blog on the 30th this month as I am speaking the next morning at my church about our journey with Josiah.  So, September's update will be late.

Lily-Anna is lovely.  I will probably soon have to train her to sleep in her crib in the day time but the nights have been quite good.  I'm hoping she doesn't have sleep digression like Kohen did after he learned to roll over.

I'm very thankful to God that my friend no longer has cancer in her body.

Thanks for any prayers!

Blessings,
Elizabeth

“But I will sing of your strength; I will sing aloud of your steadfast love in the morning. For you have been to me a fortress and a refuge in the day of my distress.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭59:16‬ ‭ESV‬‬

On Vacation!

Graham is off this week and we are heading somewhere without wifi so our August update is postponed.  We've had a good month.  We toured Isaac's new school this morning where he will start Grade One French Immersion (half French and half English) next week.  He is looking forward to it.  Enjoy these last beautiful days of summer!

Blessings,

Elizabeth

“Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing! Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name! For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭100:1-5‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Dedicated to the Lord

Lily-Anna was dedicated to the Lord today at our church.  Afterwards we had lunch with some family and friends and then Graham and I said a blessing over Lily-Anna.  It was a lovely day.  I discovered after the dedication that the bloomers attached to the inside of her dress when I bought it, were still attached to the dress. 

Lily-Anna is growing so fast.  Some of my favourite things about her are her stretches ( I LOVE the newborn stretch when she puts her head back as far as possible - it's just too cute).  I love her soft smooth cheeks, when she's nursing well and comes off me sleeping, her froggy legs (she keeps them bent like this much more than the boys did), and when she's asleep on me.  She's also started to coo or gurgle/babble when she's on the changepad and I say something to her.  I tell her I love her stories and ask for more.  I am clearly in love and Graham and the boys are also smitten. :)

I was reading a Bible story to Kohen about Jesus blessing the children.  I said, "Let the children come to me." and Kohen immediately said, "And do not forbid them for such is the kingdom of heaven," (with the annunciation of a two-year old).  That is the power of music and song.  It constantly amazes me how quickly they learn songs such as this year's VBS songs which we sing every time we're in the van.

Kohen wanted to go to camp with Isaac.
Kohen: Can I come with Isaac?
Mommy: Can you go with Isaac to camp?
Kohen: Yes.
Mommy: You need to be going into Grade 1.
Kohen: I think I am going into Grade 1.

Unfortunately, I have in the past told Kohen that when he's really upset about something (something that I don't think warrants any tears) it can make Lily-Anna sad because she doesn't understand what's happening.  The other day he was all upset because he didn't get to turn off the phone so I suggested that he go and give Elmo a hug.  He replied, "No, that would make Elmo sad."

In the far off past I wrote about the Chippy and Skippy stories (and later Super Skippy and Chippyman) that Graham told for Isaac each night.  Now, he tells the boys "Eugene stories" that he makes up each night.  Eugene is a very clever bunny who invents things.

Isaac will often tell me something exciting and finish his story with an emphatic, "For real life!"

Isaac: You're the best mommy in the whole world.
Mommy: I wish I were an even better mommy.  We can pray about that.
Isaac: I know, but you're still pretty good.

On another day:

Mommy: Isaac, what if you practice your piano and then mommy makes popcorn for us to eat as a snack while we watch a show?
Isaac: Mommy, you are the best mommy in the whole world (and gives me a hug).

Isaac singing in the bath:  "I am cheerfully and wonderfully made."

Kohen singing in the bath:  "Oh clap your hands, happy people."  (instead of "all ye people.")

This morning, after the boys were up around 5:00 AM:

Daddy: When I don't get enough sleep, I get angry more easily.
Isaac: That's why bees are angry because they just get little naps.

Isaac has been asking new theological questions such as, "How did the first people know God was the one true God?"  He's going to keep us on our toes.

This month has flown by as usual.  Isaac enjoyed Engineering Science Quest camp and VBS at our church.  We then had a morning day camp at a friend's home (I went will all three children) and one week at home.  Graham is off on vacation for three weeks in August so we are all excited about that.

It's been a long day so I'll good-night before we welcome August and a new day.  Thanks for any prayers!

Blessings,
Elizabeth

Mark 10:15-16
"I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” Then he took the children in his arms and placed his hands on their heads and blessed them.   

One month old!

Lily-Anna is one month old today.  She is lovely.  The boys are very gentle with her and love to give her kisses and hugs.  She had a tongue-tie fixed and re-did a hearing test which she passed.  She also had thrush and therefore a very purple face for seven days.  She's not always the happiest when nursing but she is gaining weight well and the night feedings are usually good except for the fact that I fall asleep after two seconds and wake up a long time later.  Thankfully our nursing chair is comfortable.

I've never been a fan of the colour pink ... until now.  I now love pink and I'm happy to dress Lily-Anna in pink and have pink throughout her room.  I mentioned this at church on Sunday and another mom said the same thing happened to her when she had a daughter.  I was not expecting this.  I even care that her room looks sort of 'girly'. 

Graham explained in his birth announcement where Lily-Anna's name came from.  Her first name doesn't come from anyone in particular but the first Lily I met around age 13 was a nurse in the rheumatology department at Sick Kids Hospital.  It was my first visit at the clinic so I was no doubt nervous and Lily was incredibly lovely.  Lily is for beauty and Anna is for grace.  May our Lily-Anna use both of those for the glory of God.  By God's grace we have Lily-Anna.  We had a very early miscarriage a few months prior to finding out that Lily-Anna was on the way.  Thus, we weren't sure if we would be able to have another baby.  I only mention this here as a way to honour that baby whom we will meet one day.

Lily-Anna's birth went well.  It was our second easiest birth, after Josiah.  But, one never knows what birth will be like until after the fact.  I was thinking about the curses in Genesis and how even God's punishment is meant to turn us toward God for His help and to encourage us to trust in Him ... as it is all out of our control.  That lack of control is always so evident with a new baby ... though it seems easier to deal with this time as I realize that the different phases will pass.  I was able to use the first-week crazy hormones to cry about Josiah once.  It's interesting how I can have a beautiful new baby in my arms and love her dearly while longing for the baby who will never be in my arms again. 

Isaac had his last day of kindergarten yesterday.  In September he will head to a new school for grade one where he will also start French immersion.  I will miss his small school.  He is growing up so fast.  He loves knock-knock jokes and he has begun asking new questions about how big God is compared to the universe.

Kohen saw a cut on my finger and asked me what it was.  He then said, "Our Father, touch finger.  All better.  Amen."  The boys both like to sing the Lord's prayer (loudly) before some meals.  Kohen started to open our iPad cover.  I told him that we didn't need to use it then.  He responded, "Just checking the time."  He likes to say random numbers and tell me the time and he likes to open books and say things, pretending to read.   Actually, Kohen has been bringing up Josiah.  He was in the van and he asked me, "When go to Siah's house?"  I first thought he must have meant someone else but he said no and repeated his question.  I asked if he meant the grave and he said, "Yes."  Often when he mentions all the members of our family, he will include "Siah."

I came across a blog written by a mother of a daughter with a neuromuscular disorder.  Unfortunately I found it on the day her daughter passed away at the age of five.  The girl's name was Julianna and she was an amazing girl.  I really appreciated what her dad wrote about palliative care in this November 6 post (if you care to read it, you'll have to scroll down to the correct date and then read his comments closer to the middle and end of that post).  We weren't in the same place in many ways but I do wish we had tried to make more beautiful moments with Josiah. I would have put the boys in the bathtub together and had them be together more, I would have tried to find something delicious for Josiah, and of course I would have had more family photos.

Happy Birthday to my oldest nephew and to my cousin whom I think is celebrating in Iceland ... and Happy Canada Day (tomorrow)!  I'll post and then try to find some photos to add.

Thanks for any prayers!

Blessings,
Elizabeth

Luke 12:27
Consider the lilies, how they grow: they toil not, neither do they spin; yet I say unto you, Even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

Introducing Lily-Anna Faulkner

Dear family and friends,

God blessed us with a beautiful daughter this morning (May 30) at 9:12 AM.  Lily-Anna Elizabeth Rita Faulkner was 8 lbs 9 oz at birth and was 21 inches long.  Her brothers Isaac and Kohen met her this afternoon, and were instantly enthralled by their baby sister.  They were quite adorable, wanting to hug and kiss her and to hold her so proudly.  

Lily-Anna Elizabeth Rita Faulkner

Lily-Anna's names have important meanings to us.  Lily is a reference to Jesus' words about the lilies of the field neither toiling nor spinning but having beautiful adornment.  It is a reminder of God's extravagant gift of beauty and grace in our lives and of His daily provision.  Anna was a prophetess in Jesus' time who blessed Jesus during his infant dedication at the temple.  She foresaw that Jesus was the saviour of the world. Our desire is that Lily-Anna would also experience Jesus personally and acknowledge His gift of salvation.  Elizabeth and Rita are the names of Lily-Anna's grandmothers, whom she got to meet for the first time today, and who will certainly be a godly influence in her life for years to come. We are thankful for Lily-Anna's godly heritage and want to honour that in her life and names.

Elizabeth and baby are both doing well and we're settling in for the night at the hospital before returning home in the morning. Thanks for all the well wishes and congratulations some of you have already shared.  We look forward to posting pictures and more updates at www.thefaulkners.ca.

Blessings,
Graham and Elizabeth

How many days?

The countdown is on for Baby Faulkner's arrival.   There are actually still four more weeks until the due date but people look at me and think I will go into labour imminently.  I feel great.  Isaac came three weeks early so we are thinking we should at least get a hospital bag ready ... and perhaps choose a name.  Unfortunately, at my doctor's visit last week, my doctor thought the baby had turned again and is in the breech position.  When I see the doctor next Thursday I am going to have an ultrasound to find out for sure which way the baby is resting.  I am certainly praying
that I can avoid a c-section. 

Thankfully the nursery is basically set up, the boys have transitioned to sharing a room with

bunk beds (Kohen is still coming to grips with his new found freedom from the crib), and we have a

minivan.  The purchase took a little longer than we expected but it was an extra special treat to receive it on Josiah's birthday (he would have turned four years old on April 13th if he had lived).  We took flowers to his grave and enjoyed birthday cake at home.  Kohen keeps singing 'Happy Birthday' to Josiah ('Siah') even now.  I have no idea why Kohen never figured out he could climb out of his crib if he wanted to, but I am happy he didn't.  I do miss being able to put him in the crib when he is in need of a time-out. 

Isaac made his first purchase.  He chose to spend his money on a scooter.  He had been enjoying Kohen's scooter, though it is designed for a younger child with two wheels on the front.  I did the research and checked out the reviews and waited for it to go on sale.  He is happy with his purchase.

Isaac enjoyed playing in his second piano recital, this time at a retirement home.  His year-end recital is at the end of May, a day before Baby Faulkner is due.  He knows his grandparents will take him if Graham and I are otherwise engaged.  He loves all of his lessons, though not necessarily his practices (I feel the same way).  We have a new saying that his teacher told him this week:  "It's not hard, it's new."  I really love the Music for Young Children program.  Kohen also loves "playing" the piano, especially when he hits the button that makes the electronic piano play a classical song.  He plays along and laughs and laughs. 

I'm not sure how it came up but Graham and I started talking about an 'iron' (to be used for ironing clothes).  Isaac asked, "What's an iron?"  Oh, it's that thing we've been storing in the laundry room since around the time of your birth five years ago.  You probably won't see it for a few years yet. 

I wondered this week what I would be like if I didn't have anger or fear.  Let's add in a little ambition (i.e. goals) for good measure.  What if I thought less and did more?  Let's give up the criticisms and self-focus while we're at it.  Finally, let me find the key to turn on feelings and keep them on (other feelings than anger or fear).  Oh yes, let's not forget contentment - an extra strong dose.  How would my kids' life change as a consequence?  I wish I could see more change and growth in my life.  I am thankful for God's grace.

I enjoyed reading this article about grief, written by a parent who lost a child.  I guess it went around FaceBook but thankfully my sister-in-law sent it to me, saying she was thinking of Josiah. 

These are three songs that I appreciated, especially around the time when we were waiting to hear about Baby Girl's health: God I Look To You, Be Still My Soul, Oceans. 

We went to a farm to see some day-old chicks today.  Isaac and Kohen were even blessed with a tractor ride.  Farmers certainly work hard. 

Graham and I had a date last night and actually slept in a different house than Isaac and Kohen for the first time since Kohen's birth.  We enjoyed a meal of Indian food, lots of laughter at a performance at our church by The Skit Guys, and we even had breakfast out this morning.  It might take us another two years after Baby Girl is born so I'm glad we made the most of it.  The boys didn't miss us as they were having too much fun with Grandma and Grandpa F. 

Thanks for any prayers.  I find labour and the aftermath with a newborn daunting and challenging.  Actually, my birth experience with Josiah was awesome and the easiest part of life with him:  epidural, sleep, push for 8 minutes, beautiful baby boy. 

It's time for bed.  Lord, I need to figure out how to juggle ... soon. 

Blessings,
Elizabeth

1 Corinthians 15:42-43

⁴² So will it be with the resurrection of the dead. The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; ⁴³ it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power;

Happy Belated Easter!

Kohen turns 2!

It is a rainy, windy end to March.  I can hear the thunder as I type.  Kohen's umbrella flew out of his hands and down the road this afternoon when we were walking from the van to Isaac's school.  Thankfully I was able to find it later in a driveway.

Unless Baby Girl Faulkner comes early, I have about two months to go.  The boys are both very excited about this new arrival.  Isaac told me tonight that he can't wait to see her and she'll be beautiful.  One of his piano pieces is a lullaby so he said I can rock the baby while he plays it for her.  Kohen often excitedly exclaims, "Baby sister!" 

Isaac is 40 pounds and in a booster!

Kohen started wearing Size 3 pajamas right before his second birthday this month.  Our doctor said he may end up being tall.   One of his gifts was a cd of Bible verse songs.  The boys started singing along the very first time they heard them.  Tonight during Isaac's Bible reading he heard a verse that is on the cd so he proceeded to sing the song.  The songs are always playing when we are driving so we may need to expand our options soon, though I enjoy singing them too.

Speaking of driving, our wonderful, trusty '97 Tercel died a little earlier than planned.  Graham and Isaac were driving on the highway when they heard bad sounds from the car.  Thankfully they were able to get off the highway.  Graham said that it was a structural problem but we're not exactly sure what happened as we didn't want to put any money into the car as we knew we would be getting a van.  Thankfully we have been able to use my parent's van while we've searched for a van to purchase.  It looks like we have a lead on one now.

We were able to donate our Tercel to Teen Challenge.  They may just be able to get scrap money for it but at least that is something.  It certainly hasn't had any big problems during the eight years we have owned it.  As the tow truck was driving it away, Graham noted that it was the only car that Josiah ever knew.  Thankfully that set off some tears for me as I hadn't thought about that but I can picture him in the backseat even now. 

It looks like we may be able to stay with the Toyota family with a used Sienna minivan.  I am a marketer's dream - very impressionable and easily convinced (depending on the subject matter).  The reason I was thrilled when Graham called me years ago to say he had found a Tercel was because years before I was at my aunt and uncle's home with a friend and they happened to ask my friend what car he drove.  When he told them it was a Corolla, they seemed very impressed and confirmed that Toyotas were great cars.  Well, that was all it took to convince me.  I also like to research purchases and I found a website that gives some vehicles a "Seal of Awesome."  How great is that!?!  Yes, I am ridiculous at times.  Our vehicle may only have the "Seal of Pretty Good" but that should help me be humble.         

Fun times at the hotel

Graham took March Break off so it was lovely to all be together.  Isaac has been asking us since January when we could go to a hotel again and we told him we would go over March Break.  Graham came up with the great idea of going to a hotel close by.  We went to one by the St. Jacob's market with the three main draws for Isaac (a pool, coloured cheerios with breakfast, and tv).  We had fun at the Lego store prior to accessing our room.  Kohen thoroughly enjoyed being in the pool as well and he still brings it up. 

I am thankful that Isaac was able to have an Ice Day (a day off school) last week.  I think kids should have at least one day a year when they wake up thinking they are going to school but find out they don't have to.  We spent a lovely Easter with Graham's parents.  We were even able to spend a little time at the sugar shack watching Grandpa Ray make maple syrup and collecting some sap.

Good Friday

I am fine with the fact that my Christian tradition likes to celebrate the resurrection even on Good Friday but one day I do want to be part of a service in a different denomination that tries to evoke some of the feelings of the original Good Friday that felt like anything but a good Friday.  The resurrection of Jesus changed everything ... because Jesus actually suffered and died ... to save us ... because God so loved the world .... 

A friend let me know that she had signed her son up for a science camp and wondered if I wanted to sign up Isaac.  At first I didn't think we would but then I thought about the fact that Isaac could ride the bus with Graham to and from the university where the camp is held and I thought that would be such a good memory for him.  I knew he would be excited about being at the same university as his Daddy and taking the bus with him and also being with his friend at the camp.  He told me that he and this friend are going to have a lemonade stand all summer.  It brought back memories of Andrew (my brother) and I having a lemonade stand at the end of the path in Cannington when I was small. 

Easter eggs!

I forgot to mention last month that I was able to take Isaac and Kohen out separately for a Valentine's date with Mommy.  Kohen was excited by Timbits and Isaac liked his cakepop and hot chocolate at Starbucks.  Graham and I enjoyed chocolate and a movie as well.

To Kohen, anything can be a skateboard.  He can get on an oven mitt on the floor or a car, etc.  I am hoping to get him a scooter soon as this boy just wants to move.  I had been excited last fall to find a Scuttlebug on Kijiji but he just knows it doesn't have pedals like Isaac's bike.  He always wants to be on Isaac's bike.  I think he will like riding a scooter.

After dropping off Isaac at school in the mornings Kohen always wants to drive.  He can tell if we are approaching home and he says, "Drive, drive."  One day after going on a longer drive and then returning home he still wanted to drive.  He told me to go to Grandma and Papa's house but I said we wouldn't because he was a little sick with a cold and we didn't want to spread it.  He responded, "Pray!"  I prayed for his cold and as soon as I was finished he said, "Grandma and Papa's house."   I love that he knows when to pray.  He is a boy who wants to have fun and move and be with others.  I remember when he was little and he used to wake up in the night or morning and the first thing I would hear would be his legs hitting the mattress as they went up and down, up and down.  If I put him in the crib to discipline him, the first thing he does is jump up and down.  It will be interesting to observe our daughter's personality. 

Isaac and I were talking about his "picture maker" one day (sort of his memory).  He said he can't take pictures of facts but just things.  Then out of the blue he told me that Josiah is and will always be in his mind. He keeps his picture there.

Congratulations to my cousin who married in Northern Ireland yesterday.  May God richly bless you both as you serve and live for Him together.  I look forward to seeing photos! 


I am a person who thinks about what other people think (and I like to be part of controlling that sometimes).  So, I wouldn't want people to think that I think any reader is actually interested in all of these little stories about the boys (apart from Grandparents) but I do think I will be interested in reading them when I am 80 and I also think the boys may enjoy these stories when they are older.  Hopefully they one day see this as a gift to them.

Thanks for any prayers!

Blessings,
Elizabeth

Hebrews 10:14
For by a single offering He has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified.