Goodbye 2019

What an incredible decade it's been!  All of my children were born during this decade.  During this decade we welcomed and loved and said goodbye to Josiah.  We will forever be thankful to God for those days we were blessed to have Josiah with us.

December was a whirlwind.  On this last day of the year I was addressing Christmas cards!  We did enjoy a lovely Christmas at our place with all the grandparents.  We attended our church's Christmas Eve service and then visited a local Christian Reformed Church for their service Christmas morning.  I grew up going to church on Christmas morning and Graham really wanted to go this year.  He said that so much is pointing us away from Christ that he wanted to be counter-cultural.  The music was beautiful with lots of instruments and in addition to the wonderful carols that I love to sing, there was also a glorious song at the end of the service that some of the congregation sang in Dutch.  A triumphant proclamation that Christ is Lord.  Actually, I don't remember the words but that's the feeling I was left with.  I thought about Josiah singing to Jesus at the same time as we were singing. 

Lily-Anna likes to sing: "Away in a manger, no crib for a bed.  The little Lord Jesus, I love Him so much."  She loves to sing about God (and everything else mixed in) and also to pray.  She's been enjoying the microphone she received for Christmas.  Kohen loves to take photos and videos so he has had a lot of fun with the kids' camera he received.  Isaac loves to build Lego but he equally enjoys (maybe even more) playing with the Lego and inventing plots for the Star Wars ships, etc.  We are all having fun using the new foose ball and games table.

Isaac's first birthday party outside of our home was a success.  The kids enjoyed bowling and the pizza and it was definitely less exhausting for me.  I am very thankful for all the great memories of his past parties but this was a good transition for all of us.  I didn't get to bowl but it made me think that I would enjoy trying it again ... perhaps on a future date.

Graham and I have enjoyed two monthly dates now.  In December we went to the movie theatre and watched A Beautiful Day in the Neighbourhood.  I wish I had been able to watch Mr. Rogers when I was small, though I am happy we didn't grow up with cable tv.  There was more than enough junk on the three or four channels we received.

Lily-Anna writing a "letter"

We talk about making "marvelous mistakes" here.  Lily-Anna has actually caught on the fastest.  She'll do something such as dump her milk glass over accidentally and let me know, "I've just made a marvelous mistake Mommy."  The idea is that we learn from these mistakes (from the Positive Discipline course I took).  Well, I made more than one marvelous mistake in preparing my first turkey; however, I feel I learned a few important lessons (the primary one being to write down what time I put the turkey in the oven!) that will help me be successful next time.  I did like my gravy though.  It wasn't hot enough by the time my turkey was sort of ready but it was very tasty.    I am thankful for tasty gravy and not making anyone sick (and yes, I own and use a meat thermometer).  I was very excited to dry brine my fresh turkey.  My mom said that Easter might be a good time to try my next turkey.  I'll let you know how it goes.

I think the month of December is just another great chance for me to focus on trusting God each and every day.  I realized that I am a person that likes checking off every item on my list but in December my list never seems to end by the end of the day.  So, sometimes (often) I would rather go to Walmart at 10:00 PM so that I can cross another item off my list.  But, this isn't a healthy way to live of course.  I need to trust God for my daily bread and nightly sleep and know that He will provide again the following day.  I am hopeful for more positive changes in the new year and decade.

I have read a couple of grieving books this month - one written by a mother whose 12-year-old son died and another written by a father whose 33-year-old son died.  I wept in parts of each of them.  I am always thankful for the tears.  I didn't put 2 and 2 together until this month.  I forget my exact ages but certainly during elementary school I loved reading what I called "dying books."  They were fictional stories written for my age group about people dying of cancer or an accident or kids getting a disease, etc.  I cried reading those as well.

In 'Stations of the Heart,' Richard Lischer says that before his son Adam died he concurred with the theory of grief that for those who lose someone who has been sick, their grief work has already begun when the person is still alive.  I remember the same thing being said to me.  He writes, "My theory of grief proved to be untrue ... Only after he was gone did we fully appreciate the qualitative distinction between illness and absence, the chasm between terminal and terminated.  Only after Adam died did we realize we had not been grieving at all, for grief is longing for one who is absolutely unattainable.  We had been swarming like moths around a flickering candle, but it was still giving off a little light. ... In those last days we were coping with the anguish that precedes death, but we had not begun to grieve."  I can see both sides of this theory but I like his words. 

Graham asked for a poem book by Malcolm Guite.  I chose one called, 'Love Remember: 40 Poems of loss, lament and hope.'  I would love to quote the whole introduction.  He does a wonderful job of not simply highlighting our hope as Christians but also the reality and intensity of grief when a loved one dies.  I am looking forward to reading the compilation of poems.  I know people struggling now and I know others in full grief.  My prayers are with you. 

Graham and Isaac are watching Chicken Run.  It looks like Isaac might stay up until midnight for the first time.  I want to go and spend some time with them so I'll say goodnight and hopefully add some photos tomorrow or the next day.

Happy New Year!  Happy 2020!  May the grace, mercy, love, joy, and peace of Jesus Christ be yours in abundance.  May this next decade be full of new life in different ways, for the glory of God.  Thank You Lord for Your incredible blessings. 

Blessings,
Elizabeth

2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.