Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Tonight we say good-bye to 2016 and usher in the new year quietly.  The children are sleeping and I am typing in a messy living room - our home has yet to recover from birthday celebrations and Christmas blessings.

We had a lovely Christmas, spending a few days with Graham's parents in Listowel.  My parents joined us for part of Christmas day.  Growing up, I don't think we were ever with another relative apart from our immediate family on Christmas Day so what a blessing for our kids to be with both sets of grandparents at the same time!

I was happy to be able to continue my tradition of being in a Christian Reformed Church on Christmas morning which helped me to at least get teary eyed, thinking about Josiah.  It's rare to go to a place where I feel different and a little out of place and obviously a stranger to everyone else in the room.  Getting out of my regular space helps me to focus on Josiah for a little while.  I guess that is a Christmas gift to myself and Graham is sweet enough to come along with our noisy children (well, Lily-Anna wasn't too noisy). 

We have actually been enjoying the winter weather which is quite surprising for us.  We went skating as a family (minus Lily-Anna) and then Graham and his dad took the boys out sledding.  The five of us tried to go yesterday.  We safely attached Lily-Anna's carseat to a sled (just for horizontal travel) but she wasn't too excited about the arrangement after a time and Kohen wasn't interested in the big hill so our trip was shorter than planned.

We went to the cemetery today and Graham built a snowman in front of Josiah's grave.  Hopefully no one else will mind.  The snow was perfect.  We enjoyed throwing some snow around and the boys had fun being pulled on the sled while Lily-Anna slept in the stroller.

Our most exciting news is that Graham is starting his paternity leave.  It's perfect timing for the cold winter months and also this is usually around the time when my body and joints start to protest the weight of the baby who needs to be carried around.

I borrowed Mary Poppins from the library.  It was fun to snuggle with Isaac and Kohen and watch them laugh.  It's the first real movie we've shown Isaac, though he has seen some animated ones at school.  Unfortunately, the music playing when Mr. Banks had to go back to the bank in the evening was a little scary for Kohen and he's brought it up a few times.  He put his hands over his ears and then left the room.

I've realized the last few months that I seem to be missing a lot of memories of Kohen.  I actually looked back at the blog and was pleasantly surprised to see lots of photos of him smiling along with stories.  I saw a photo of him in the exersaucer which was great because I had had no memory of him in one.  Mom told me the other day that Kohen always makes her laugh and looking back she sees how God kept him safe inside my womb and kept me from intense grief while he was growing.

One of the songs that the boys sing goes like this: "Do to others, do to others, what you would have them do to you ...."  Lately, when Kohen and Isaac are arguing and things are not going Kohen's way he'll say forcefully, "Do to others Isaac!"

I found December to be very busy.  Isaac was in a piano recital the first weekend, followed by his birthday party the second weekend (God really helped that come together, as did my parents who helped me make swords and noodle horses for the boys), and then a birthday dinner with family the following weekend, followed by Christmas and now New Years.  I've been sad because I wasn't able to do all the Advent stuff that we did last year and Isaac asked for all of it again.  I couldn't figure out where the time went for us until I realized that I always nurse and put Lily-Anna to bed right after dinner while the boys are getting ready for bed.  She still takes her time nursing before bed but nursing is one of my favourite things to do.  I get to nourish my sweet daughter in my arms while resting in a comfortable chair often in the dark.  Apparently she enjoys it too as she's up a couple of times in the night to feed.  It would be helpful to get more sleep but we'll wait until she's a little older to stop her night feeds.

It was fun to attend Isaac's Christmas concert at school as well as a play in his classroom.  He wanted to be in the choir and even auditioned to have a few talking lines.  Neither Graham nor I think we would have done that at his age so we're happy he has some confidence.

Lily-Anna is doing much better at eating.  It took her a good couple of weeks to figure out swallowing and then another couple of weeks for her to consistently open her mouth for food.  Now we're just hoping for teeth.

2016 brought us the joy of having Lily-Anna but it also brought some hard times.  We are happy to welcome the new year with its new hopes and possibilities.

In late November we had a 15-minute mini session at a photographer's home.  We were very surprised and happy with the resulting photos we have posted.

Thanks for your prayers.  May you and yours know and experience the love, joy, and peace of Jesus in 2017.

Blessings,
Elizabeth

2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.  

December here we come

Lily-Anna is six months old!  The boys are always saying how beautiful she is and how she is the most beautiful baby.  They like to give her zerberts and make her laugh.  She has just started rice cereal but she certainly needs more practice.

Thankfully Graham is better.  He said he's never been more sick and this certainly ranks up there with the hardest thing we've ever gone through - which seems really crazy.  Graham was off work for two and a half weeks.  We had amazing support from family and friends.  I'm so thankful that God spared Lily-Anna, Kohen, and our parents from sickness, not to mention me.  I was picturing myself totally wiped and trying to nurse a baby.

I haven't written much the last few months so I'll provide a little update.  Isaac has had a good transition to his new school.  He changed schools for French Immersion and he is loving the French and often singing French songs.  He made a good friend right away which was an answer to prayer.

We are excited to have a new lead pastor at our church.  He and his family started on Thanksgiving weekend.  We had been without a lead pastor for over a year but God has perfect timing.

I spoke about Josiah at a women's event at our church.  Many people thought it would have been hard for me to do this.  It's not hard to speak about Josiah.  I like speaking about him, hearing his name, remembering him.  The prep work is the hard part and the nerves of wanting the presentation to go well and bring God glory.

We are studying 2 Corinthians in the Bible study that meets in our home weekly.  It's such a great reminder that God uses suffering for His glory and as we read tonight that God told Paul, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  I wonder if most of us have something similar to a "thorn in the flesh" that we just want God to remove from our life but its purpose is to keep us humbly reliant on God and allows His power to be at work in us.  It's a good challenge for me to think about my attitude towards my list of personal weaknesses.

Speaking of weaknesses, I have a birthday party to plan for Isaac.  Have I mentioned that I find birthday parties overwhelming?  I actually finally signed up for Pinterest because I thought there would be helpful ideas for a knight party ... and there were.  Wow - Pinterest could be overwhelming too!  It keeps telling me about new amazing desserts that I would love to eat.

Graham took the boys to Niagara Falls in late September.  They drove his parents to the airport and then he called me a few hours later and told me that they were in Niagara Falls.  My first thought apart from "Where is my husband and what did you do to him?" was "Please don't let go of Kohen!" They all returned safely.

Perhaps Kohen will be an artist one day.  I've dealt with marker on furniture, crayon and pencil on the wall, pencil crayon on the fridge, and pen on the chairs.  Clearly I need to find a new location for the writing supplies!

Kohen asked me one night why Jesus died.  I gave him a long-winded answer and then he told me it was "because they ate the fruit."  I guess he is listening in Sunday school and to the Bible stories before bed.  He also asked me why Josiah died and told me, "It is very very very sad that he died."

Lily-Anna has been having lots of practice on her tummy and it seems like she's getting stronger every day.  I think she's sweet and lovely and beautiful.  And yes, I want to eat her up. She is Miss Serious in public and whenever the camera is out but she can also give the loveliest smiles and laughter - often when she is at the change table.

I had a conversation with a friend tonight.  It reminded me that Satan is active and so ready to deceive and cause havoc.

It's time to head to bed before Lily-Anna wakes me up.  She now wakes up on her tummy but she's getting more used to it.
Thanks for your prayers.

Blessings,
Elizabeth


1 Peter 5:8 Be alert and of sober mind.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

Isaac riding his bike

On the mend

Graham made it outside to our backyard yesterday and today to practice walking.  It's a slow shuffle but he's making progress.  It was a nice treat for the boys as they sat outside while Graham told them a Eugene story.  They are missing their daddy time.

We are very thankful that Graham is moving in the right direction.  Friends and our Bible study group (these are not mutually exclusive!) are blessing us with meals.  A friend was able to come for a visit yesterday and it was such a breath of fresh air to chat and laugh.  Graham said we sounded like teenage girls.

Isaac returned to school today and Kohen spent some time this morning with his grandparents so I was able to get some cleaning and disinfecting done.

I need to get Isaac's lunch ready and then I can head to bed.  Thank you for your prayers!

Blessings,
Elizabeth

2 Corinthians 4:18
¹⁸ So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.     

God showed up ...

... though of course, He is always with me.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your prayers and encouraging notes!  This was a wonderful, productive day (one of my most productive days at home, ever).  God answered your prayers!

Isaac came to find me at 6:30 this morning and then Lily-Anna needed feeding which is when I heard Kohen wake up loudly, confirming that I had been wise to put a waterproof tablecloth down on the loveseat before I added the sheets and Kohen.  I put Lily-Anna down and helped Kohen.  Kohen was sneezing a little and told me he didn't feel well so I cancelled my plan to send him to my parents' home, though they tried to convince me to let them come and get him.  I was searching for places to call to see about hiring a nurse.  I called but it was too early - no answer.  Then I realized that they would need a home assessment and time so I emailed an apparent nurse on Kijiji and she wrote a nice note back with a number to call.

And then ... God changed the atmosphere.  I don't actually know the exact moment when it changed but I was singing, "God is changing our story" over and over again.

Lily-Anna had two good naps in her crib, all five of us had (separate) baths or showers (even Elmo had a bath!), Isaac's chest x-ray report said that no follow-up was needed and he only had Advil twice today, lots of laundry was done, and I was able to play Mastermind with Isaac while everyone else slept.  Lily-Anna is rolling onto her tummy which made me realize how thankful I am that she is not crawling or eating real food while we have been going through this time.  We welcomed Graham's parents back from their trip out of the country, and we were blessed with some delicious-smelling food for tomorrow's supper along with other offers and we enjoyed some snacks that a friend dropped by last night.  We are blessed.

And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. (Mark 4:39)


I love these words that a friend sent: 
"Dear Elizabeth,
All is well with you and your household. ‎ We will continue to pray and trust God for complete healing.  Be encouraged, God is able to deliver."

Graham still needs a touch.  We are thankful that he had a little more energy by the end of the day.  The kids and I were praying for Graham to have health and hope.  We continue to pray and thank you for your prayers.

Blessings,
Elizabeth

2 Corinthians 4:7-8
⁷ But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. ⁸ We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;

In Need of Prayer

Hi Everyone,

There's so much to write and no time to do so.  Graham has pneumonia and has been in bed for five days straight and isn't much better.  He's on antibiotics but we're wondering if it is perhaps viral pneumonia.

We had scheduled a doctor's appointment for Isaac this afternoon because he had the same symptoms Graham had when this started - a fever, he threw up, and had chills.  I woke him up to go see the doctor and he was wide-eyed and incoherent and speaking gibberish and screaming and asking me to help him.  I called the doctor's office and they said I should take him to emerge.  He was better by the time we arrived at the hospital so I think that episode had to do with waking him up - perhaps he was still half asleep.  The x-ray showed congestion on his lungs but the doctor wasn't sure if it was pneumonia and said someone would look at the x-ray tomorrow and send a report to our doctor's office.  So, I am giving Isaac Tylenol and Advil.

Sweet, two-and-a-half year old Kohen put himself to sleep on the couch as I was nursing a sad Lily-Anna who had just woken up.  I woke Kohen later to go pee and then he was inconsolable so he ended up watching Paw Patrol at 10:30 PM as Isaac was calling me.   Kohen is sleeping on the loveseat and I'm on the couch.

I have lots to do before Lily-Anna wakes up to feed (she'll only sleep on me or in the swing during the day).  If Kohen doesn't cough at all tonight then we're going to assume he's fine and he'll be with Grandma and Grandpa tomorrow.  The high risk categories for pneumonia are over 65 years and 2 and under.  Lily-Anna only nurses and she's never had a bottle.  We are praying that the three of us stay healthy.  I see what this has done to Graham (five days later I pick up his water for him) so I'm wondering what it will do to Isaac, etc.

So, please pray for us.  I said today that I am going to trust God through this.  We're studying suffering in our Bible study so I have lots of reflections but no time to write.  Thanks for any prayers!

Blessings,
Elizabeth

August Adventures

I'm trying to catch up on the blog by recording what we did in August as October is quickly approaching.  We were all blessed as Graham was able to take three weeks off in August.  We spent some time with family and were also blessed with a week at a cottage at Braeside, a Christian camp that's not far away from us.  The boys had fun swimming in the pool with Graham and we all enjoyed ice cream from the tuck shop.

Additionally, Isaac took some swimming lessons at our local pool, we went to the Brantford Zoo, friends came over, we went to a farm, we slept over at Graham's parents' property in the trailers (enjoying a campfire with s'mores), and we had our fourth annual trip to Centre Island on the Saturday before school started.  I will leave the school update for my next post but suffice it to say that Isaac is loving grade one French Immersion at his new school.

I was thinking back on July and realized that I didn't mention what we did on the third anniversary of Josiah's passing.  Isaac was at camp during the day and Graham had a number of off-site meetings he needed to attend so it was a little less memorable this year.  We went to McDonalds for dinner (in honour of the blessing of Ronald McDonald House) and then we took flowers to Josiah's gravesite.  This is the first summer that we haven't visited Ronald McDonald House.  I had forgotten until recently that Isaac had written that on his wish list for things to do this summer but he didn't bring it up all summer.

I think this was also the first year that I didn't relive what happened on July 31st in 2012 when I had to rush Josiah to the hospital.  I think it's a gift that it turned out to be the same date of Lily-Anna's dedication to the Lord.

It looks like Isaac may have high standards for his future wife.  For some reason I was talking to him about how we pray he'll marry a godly woman one day.  He replied, "Hopefully there will be a godly woman around here but if not I may have to go to a distant land and find her.  You'll be able to visit though and we'll visit."

Kohen has figured out what we do when we see or hear emergency vehicles.  We were sitting in the kitchen and he heard an ambulance so he said we needed to pray.  He was in the van last night with Graham and Isaac and they passed a vehicle burning on the highway.  He said they should pray.

Kohen has also started us on a new tradition.  Whenever we pass Josiah's cemetery, we will say something out loud like, "We love you Josiah.  We miss you.  We wish you were here."  Or, we'll sing our Josiah song.  The other day we passed a different random cemetery and Kohen said, "We love you Josiah."

Though this is August's update, it is counting as my September entry as I won't be able to blog on the 30th this month as I am speaking the next morning at my church about our journey with Josiah.  So, September's update will be late.

Lily-Anna is lovely.  I will probably soon have to train her to sleep in her crib in the day time but the nights have been quite good.  I'm hoping she doesn't have sleep digression like Kohen did after he learned to roll over.

I'm very thankful to God that my friend no longer has cancer in her body.

Thanks for any prayers!

Blessings,
Elizabeth

“But I will sing of your strength; I will sing aloud of your steadfast love in the morning. For you have been to me a fortress and a refuge in the day of my distress.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭59:16‬ ‭ESV‬‬

On Vacation!

Graham is off this week and we are heading somewhere without wifi so our August update is postponed.  We've had a good month.  We toured Isaac's new school this morning where he will start Grade One French Immersion (half French and half English) next week.  He is looking forward to it.  Enjoy these last beautiful days of summer!

Blessings,

Elizabeth

“Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing! Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name! For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭100:1-5‬ ‭ESV‬‬