His grace is sufficient!

We were away in Listowel for the weekend so I didn't blog.  It was so nice to see one of Graham's brothers from B.C. and to celebrate Graham's mom's birthday.  Thankfully Kohen slept through his first church sermon, which meant that I could listen.  I'm also thankful that he slept more quietly in church in my arms than he did in his bassinet at night.  At home he sleeps in his crib in his own room at night so this was the first time we slept in the same room.  He is one noisy sleeper!

I've been contemplating this blog post and wondering what words will allow me to be honest, positive, thankful, real (somewhat vulnerable), and not sound like I'm complaining or whining.  That is what I am attempting to do: 

I find this period challenging and hard.  I remember hearing that one of Graham's aunts wished that children started out at the age of 2 (or something like that).  That was so reassuring to hear.  God bless her!  She is a wonderful, godly woman with wonderful children so it must also be okay that this "crying, fussing, eating a lot and not wanting to be put down" stage is not my favourite either. 

In my first year of university I actually went to the first meeting of the Juggling Club.   I could juggle three balls (for a few seconds) so I thought it would be fun to improve my limited skills.  I can't remember if I went to another practice but I must have realized early on that I was not destined to be a great juggler.  I may actually juggle balls better than I do kids and life.  Graham and I sometimes refer to a few friends as "big plate" people.  They just accomplish a lot.  We think of ourselves as "small plate" people.  This isn't meant to be a negative label and I don't think we limit ourselves or our choices with it, it's just a way to describe who we think we are.  Whatever size our plates are, we obviously need to do what God calls us to do. 

We are so thankful for Isaac and Kohen and we wish every day that Josiah was here.  We knew this transition would be tough for us just because of what a new baby brings (not because it's harder than what others are going through ... and in reality, many people, especially those with other personalities, may not find this very tough at all).  This is just a season and it will pass and God will give us the strength we need.  The fact that I'm able to type this means that Kohen is sleeping peacefully in his crib.  He slept last night from 11:00 PM to 6:15 AM this morning.  Let's just say he tuckered himself out before 11:00 PM. 

I'm considering removing dairy from my diet for a few weeks to see if that will help.  I'm addicted to milk but it would be worth it if it helped.  We also wonder if there's any reflux going on.  Josiah had it (as many heart babies do) and it was stressful.  Many of Kohen's feeds are fine but then there are others in which he keeps coming off of me and crying/screaming.  The thought of being anywhere except in my own or someone else's home when this happens is not a great thought.  I'm a homebody so it's not hard to stay home but it's probably not the best thing for Isaac - though I praise God for his demeanour; he's so good at playing with his Lego and Thomas the tank trains and loves to lie down and look at his books.  He has also told me that babies cry a lot and lets me know when he thinks Kohen needs milk.

Isaac's been telling us that he wishes Josiah were here and wishes he didn't die.  He wants to go back to the "hospital where Josiah was dying" so that he can play with the toys (he's referring to the play room at Sick Kids).  He often tells me that such and such an animal or train has a child or friend or parents that have died.  He says he doesn't want to go to heaven and asked me today if God would bring him back to his house (if he went to heaven).  It's sad that he has to try to process all of this at this age.   

Isaac told me this week that when he was at the farm, "Mr. E. turned off the lights and then all the chicks sang 'Jesus Loves Me.'"  We do want to work on him telling the truth but I thought that story was pretty cute.  He has recently been saying, "I'm kind of sick." when he doesn't want to eat more of his meal (or wants to skip to dessert) so hence the need to focus on truth telling.  

This week the doorbell rang in the early afternoon.  I went to the door and there was a young women holding a casserole.  I invited her inside and then said, "Should I know you because I don't recognize you?"  As it turns out, her husband came to the door about three weeks earlier to collect for the Heart & Stroke Foundation.  I was three days from my due-date and obviously pregnant so he asked which number of child this would be which led to a conversation that included Josiah and heaven and he asked if we were Christians and I found out that he and his family attend a nearby church and they live on our street, down the hill and around the corner.  So, this lovely family (strangers) made us a delicious casserole and some yummy muffins!  What a lovely gift from God to be blessed by strangers!  We have certainly been blessed by family and friends as well!

My grand discovery is microfleece bed sheets!  Does everyone know about them?!  I LOVE hot water bottles in the bed - especially after returning from nursing Kohen in the middle of the night.  They make my feet very happy.  However, this weekend I slept in microfleece sheets and they were warm all the time - and so soft and comfortable.  I am excited about this discovery!

Thanks for your prayers!

Blessings,

Elizabeth

2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.