A new room

In the last few days there have been three separate incidents that have underscored how little it takes to set me off and how much I try to be in control of those things that I think are in my realm of influence.  In the big things (like heart surgeries for example), I am fully aware that I cannot bring about outcomes so I am more than happy to say, "This serve is for You God" and I can be quite relaxed, knowing that God is in control and He is able.  However, if you mess with me on Kijiji or don't share my son's test results or (gasp!) change Josiah's room without calling me, I will be thrown for a loop.

This morning I called the nurse at 6:45 AM to find out how Josiah's night went.  That's when I found out that he had changed rooms last night at 11:00 PM while I was typing unaware.  Instead of being thankful that he was moved to a different room because he needs less care, Miss Attitude showed up and I welcomed her home.  Miss Attitude always focuses on principles and feels justified and righteous in her indignance.  There are many other preferable options than indignance but of course it feels good to be "right" and I want people to know how they can do better ... instead of reminding myself how often I fail to live up to others' expectations, and how often I miss the mark, and how much God has forgiven, and how much I need Jesus, and how God brings good out of the bad.

Josiah ended up having a nurse back for her first shift after being off for 8 months, backpacking around the world.  She was lovely and she said it was the perfect first shift because we were so nice.  The next time I'm thrown for a loop, I want to say, "Thank you Lord for the opportunity to see your goodness."  I'm guessing it might take a few practice runs.  Thankfully Graham is more centred than I am and helps me to keep things in perspective.  I'll end the introspection now so that I can tell you about Josiah.

He had a good morning.  He was off of CPAP for an hour and fifteen minutes and his breathing wasn't laboured.  He had two good physio sessions and I was able to hold him twice.  This afternoon he ended up desating to the 50s and it took quite a while to determine that the problem was due to one of his medications.  He was in the high 60s for quite a while on an oxygen rate of 75%.  I ended up staying until around 9:45 so it was a long day.  This was the first time I didn't leave during shift change; I just stayed with Josiah until the problem was (hopefully) solved.

He was much more alert today and his cough is stronger.  He focussed on the mobile and some of his toys for a while.  October 14 is the date when he will be allowed to push up on his arms so physio will need to work towards that.  I'll try to hold him more upright tomorrow and we may also try him on his tummy.  I was reminded tonight that I have a friend who has lots of experience working with infants who are behind or compromised in some way with their gross motor skills so she'll be able to give me some tips.  God is the perfect provider!

It looks like Josiah will get his drainage tubes out tomorrow - yeay!  I'm sure he'll also try being off of CPAP a couple of times again.

Emma Stewart is back in the PICU.  It is so often a roller coaster ride on our floor.  

Thank you so much for your emails, kind words, verses, and prayers!  We couldn't do this without you.  It is so encouraging to have your love and support.

Blessings,

Elizabeth

P.S. Thankfully there were leftovers when I arrived back at RMH.  Rubbermaid had provided a delicious meal!