I'm posting this from the hospital as I await my walk home. Security is just running a test of some sort but they should be able to walk me back in around twenty minutes.
I said good-bye to Graham and Isaac around 7:30 tonight. Hopefully Isaac will have a good transition back to his grandparent's home. He had a great sleep on his mattress last night ... until around 4:15 AM when he woke up wired! We were able to hold off the milk until around 5:00 AM and I think it was around 5:30 when we caved in and put a dvd on so that Graham and I could try to get some more sleep! How did I become a dvd parent?!
We ventured to The Meeting House for church this morning and enjoyed the sermon on faith. We were challenged to live lives of full (not empty) faith which was defined in four bullet points: 1) Believing that God exists, that he's good, and can be trusted; 2) Pursuing God every day, and doing what he says; 3) Living counter-culturally, even when it seems crazy [I believe the context was when God tells you to do something]; and 4) Tuning your perspective into God's bigger plans.
I've been a Christian a long time. Frankly, the first bullet point is easy to do because God has shown Himself good and faithful time and time again even in challenging circumstances. I wish I could say I was doing a better job in the other three bullet points; however, I have a long way to go.
Josiah had a fever this morning but tylenol and ice did the trick. His temperature tonight was 36.5 degrees. His x-ray this morning showed an issue with the lungs and one of the cultures from his lungs looks like there might be something there - we should know more tomorrow. He wasn't extubated today but if his x-ray and cultures are good in the morning, he may be extubated tomorrow. I noticed that his oxygen level was 45% all day so I asked the fellow if there was any reason for it not to be weaned and he said there wasn't so he lowered it to 35%. Josiah was looking a little pale tonight so he'll get some more blood.
I filed Josiah's nails tonight. We were told not to use clippers as he's on heparin, a blood thinner, and I guess there's a story about nail clipping that went badly.
Over a year ago I read Ann Voskamp's book, One Thousand Gifts. I keep meaning to reread it. I was just looking at some quotations of hers online as one of her quotations was used in church this morning. One of the nurses thought I was worried about something to do with Josiah earlier this week. I said I wasn't worried and that I had seem him much worse. I like this quotation: "Worry is the facade of taking action when prayer really is." It's so true that we can take time and mental energy worrying or we can talk to Jesus. I'm not saying I never worry but what a beautiful gift from God to know that His ears are always open to our cries, fears, and heartaches. One more quotation from the book: "Lament is a cry of belief in a good God, a God who has His ear to our hearts, a God who transfigures the ugly into beauty. Complaint is the bitter howl of unbelief in any benevolent God in this moment, a distrust in the love-beat of the Father's heart." We serve a good God. We are blessed beyond measure.
It's time to head back to RMH. Good night and thank you for taking action by praying!
Blessings,
Elizabeth
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