It was a challenging day with lots of thoughts and questions going through our minds while trying to deal with a fussy baby with decreased nursing support as well as a sweet toddler who needed more than a 45-minute nap in Josiah's room. 4D is short staffed so we had another one of the wonderful charge nurses from CCCU as our nurse today. Thankfully she just had one other patient.
It was nice for Isaac to finally see Josiah again but I think it was also challenging for him to see Mommy and Daddy with Josiah. Isaac has only seen Josiah in his crib twice since we've been at the hospital. Today he saw us holding Josiah and taking him for a stroller ride. Isaac definitely wanted to be held more by both of us. It was nice to all go for a walk together on the fourth floor.
The night nurse last night said Josiah had sats in the 50s when he was upset. Today he often dipped into the 60s.
I like to be in control and right now things are out of my control. I like knowledge yet there's a lot of uncertainty. I like to know my options and I can't currently see or understand them. I like to be in control of my emotions in public and they are unpredictable. There are things I feel like whining about or getting mad about (and yes I regularly tell Isaac not to whine!) However, I am reminded that God is involved, He wants to do something and it's not all about me or us.
I am thinking of a dear beautiful friend who has gone through a much much tougher road than I have. When she was told of her upcoming challenges her first thought was, "My life is perfect and it's about to become more perfect." My friend looks like Jesus and that's compelling. Every day I need to choose how I will respond to the pressures I feel. Jesus has told us that His strength and provision will be enough. "I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief" (Mark 9:24). Help me to consider this as "pure joy" (James 1:2). That's hard to understand. I thought I might lose it if I stayed at the hospital tonight but I think tomorrow will be better.
Isaac likes to hide, especially if he knows I need him for something he does not want to do. I'm too old to hide under the covers but I'll never be too old to need Jesus to hide my heart. I need his strength for this and I need your prayers and encouraging words. I also need sleep and knees that aren't swollen. The song for tonight is Hiding Place by Sara Groves:
I'm not sure if I'll be able to access the Internet from 4D in order to write these posts. That would be sad for me. This is a good outlet.
Thank you for your prayers and kind words - they are both always so welcome!
Blessings,
Elizabeth
Dear Elizabeth,
ReplyDeleteMaryann and I joined together tonight to pray for all of you. We want you to know you are not alone, there's hardly a moment that goes by that someone isn't whispering your names. We prayed for a miracle for Josiah, a sound sleep for Issac, a pain free,restful night for you and Graham and wisdom for every decision along the way. We love you all xo. M
Dear Elizabeth and Graham,
ReplyDeleteI embrace you from afar with tenderness and affection.
O Give thanks unto the Lord; for He is good: for His mercy endureth for ever.
O give thanks unto the God of gods: for His mercy endureth for ever.
O give thanks to the Lord of lords: for His mercy endureth for ever.
To Him who alone doeth great wonders: for His mercy endureth for ever. Psalm 136 v 1-4.
Surrender all to God: Yourselves, Josiah, Isaac, your bodies, your minds, your knees Elizabeth, your new room, and in Jesus’ name, allow Him to caress you all with protection, soothing, light, healing, strength and hope. May you be eased in gradually to your added caring for Josiah, knowing with assurance that you are capable and comfortable, and the Holy Spirit will guide and advise you in all things. I pray to our wonderful Heavenly Father, in Jesus’ name that you will all sleep safely and soundly each night, and be refreshed each morning as you all progress in health, strength, and optimism. Heavenly Father, we await your miracle as Josiah becomes healthy and strong in body and mind, a completely healed child of God. Thank you God so much, and we give you the praise and the glory.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivered him out of them all. Psalm 34 v 19.
Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee: because he trusteth in Thee.
Trust ye in the Lord for ever: for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength. Isaiah 26 verses 3 & 4.
But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2nd Timothy 1 v 7.
For with God nothing shall be impossible. Luke 1 v 37.
O Lord my God, I cried unto Thee, and Thou hast healed me. Psalm 30 v 2.
God’s richest blessings to you all, and to all the people praying for you.
Love and prayers from your auntie Julia.