Knowing and trusting

My sister-in-law was over this morning for a visit.  Isaac always has fun with her.  They went on a walk and saw some ducks.  Upon their return I received a lovely bouquet of three dandelions.  

Josiah hasn't been himself today.  He still sounds and feels quite congested.  I'm hoping and praying it's still "just" from his cold and nothing new.  Actually, we may have found a new reason for his irritability.  He's been biting his lip in a new way for the past few days.  I felt in his mouth tonight and found tooth number 8 is in the process of coming through. 

As of today we've made the transition to Isaac just having milk with lunch and dinner instead of before nap and bed.  He usually doesn't ask for milk when he wakes up but he sometimes does ask for it so I haven't yet decided if I'll give him a sippy cup or regular cup or just have it with breakfast.  I haven't been very diligent in teaching Isaac to dress himself.  I don't want my little boy growing up too soon.  I like helping him dress. 

During this whole process of being home on palliative care with Josiah it seems like we've been in waiting mode - waiting for something to happen.  I was thinking about trust the other day.  I know God loves me and my family.   I know He is in control and brings good out of bad.  I know God is good.  I know He is all powerful. 

So yes, I trust Him ... but I'm not sure I trust Him like Isaac trusts his mother's love.  I'm not content to just rest in my Father's arms and just take one day at a time, receiving my daily bread.  My head knows I'm not controlling anything but I still want to sit on the edge of the seat thinking, "He could die, he could die, he could die." ... because I don't want to be taken by surprise.  I want to be "ready."  As if any mother could possibly be ready for the unthinkable.

If I were talking to Isaac I would let him know that there are two choices - a wise choice and an unwise choice.  The wise choice is to fully place my trust in Jesus - talking to Him, walking with Him, asking Him to help me off of the edge of my seat - so that I can live in the present, knowing that Jesus will hold me come what may.  I think the more I get to know Jesus, the less I will want to be on the edge of my seat; I'll want to be as close to Jesus as possible.  

Thanks for your prayers!

Blessings,

Elizabeth

Psalm 131: 1-3

My heart is not proud, LORD, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.  But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content.  Israel, put your hope in the LORD both now and forevermore.