Blessed Easter

I hope you've had a blessed Easter.

Isaac helped me make French toast for breakfast this morning.  When we were eating he said, "Thank you for bringing the French toast Mommy."  I don't think he's said something like that to me before on his own initiative.  He usually eats oatmeal or cereal but this is a day of celebration. 

After breakfast we had him search for the tomb like the women who were heading to Jesus' tomb on Easter morning.  Isaac found eleven plastic eggs each with a small chocolate egg inside and then he found an empty egg representing Jesus' empty tomb (I haven't figured out what the chocolate eggs represent).  I told Isaac that these were special gifts from Mommy and Daddy and then I asked him what the best gift from God is.  He said slowly and seriously, "Chocolate."  We corrected his poor theology and spoke about Jesus.

I told Graham at lunch that Easter seems a little different this year.  Josiah is another huge reason right in front of me to be so thankful for Jesus, the cross and resurrection Sunday.  This is what makes all the difference.

I remember being at a church service in Ghana in which I was singing in English and those around me were singing in Twi.  It just made me think of how glorious Heaven will be as people from every tribe and nation worship our Lord together.  This song makes me think of that.

It's been a while since I heard The Easter Song by Keith Green:

Josiah had a good day.  I was able to catch some great smiles on the camera as he was laughing at Grandpa's antics.  He always seems to enjoy the singing at church. 

Thanks so much for your prayers!

Blessings,

Elizabeth

Galatians 2:20
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Golden Arches

Have you ever received that sideways glance from a stranger in which they check out the food you are feeding your child and then you realize you've just won the "bad parent of the year award"?  I confess - I've given that look in my head before and I hope it didn't show on my face.  I probably deserved it today:  11:00 AM - McDonalds - ice cream cone for my two year old.

I'm glad we did it.  Isaac was excited to be with Mommy and Daddy on a special adventure.  I told him it was just because we loved him and that God gives us gifts because He loves us.  Then we talked about God's best gift of Jesus and what we celebrate at Easter.  This wasn't a planned spiritual event.  I was just trying to redeem a trip to McDonalds.  Actually, at 10:30 he asked for milk and he wanted to go to sleep so I said, "Would you like to go and get ice cream?" and that did the trick.  I did take him out for a nice walk in the sunshine prior to this trip. 

I'm sorry to admit that Saturday mornings have been a little stressful of late.  We've had a nurse here for Josiah (those shifts ended today) so we want to do something special with Isaac but we're also so tired and things take longer that we want them to, etc.  We're not the best at thinking up things to do or deciding on what to do.  I'm sure more sleep would help and that's our responsibility.

Graham took our car to the mechanic earlier this week and he mentioned that he was really tired because both of our boys awoke really early.  Our mechanic immediately replied, "That just means you were up too late."  True.

It was a good day.  Josiah seems to be able to handle longer periods of playing and he has more control of his body so I was moving him around a lot more on my legs and up and down.  Actually, we were playing a game.  He was in his exersaucer and I would give him a toy and he would work hard until he pushed it out on the ground and then I gave it back and we repeated the process over and over.  I also discovered that he likes it when I take both his legs and move them to the left and right when he's lying on a mat.  Graham gets the award for finally capturing Josiah's laughter on video.

The four of us went to a family get together for Graham's mom's side of the family this afternoon.  It's always great to see aunts, uncles, and cousins.  It was nice to get Josiah out.    

It's time for bed.  Thanks for your prayers!

Blessings,

Elizabeth

Hebrews 9:15
For this reason Christ is the mediator of a new covenant, that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance—now that he has died as a ransom to set them free from the sins committed under the first covenant.

Good Friday

It's Good Friday.  It was good to be in church today.  It was good to be with family today.  I am tired.

I should have lots to write today.  Without Good Friday I would be lost.  I would have no hope.  If not for Jesus dying to give me life ....

However, Good Friday is a day when we think about death ... a horrible death.  Mary watched her son die.  She watched him struggle to breath.  She could not have understood, this side of Easter morning.

I'm a little sensitive to death these days.

We had a good day.  I think Josiah enjoys the music at church.  He and I left the sanctuary when he became fussy but I found a room in which someone was playing beautiful music on a keyboard.  I rocked Josiah in my arms.  This afternoon he had an extended period of happiness.  I just tickled him and tickled him and he just laughed and laughed and laughed.  Pure eruption of joy from his body.  A gift.

Isaac knows that Jesus died on the cross and he knows he is not still dead.  We're still teaching him the meaning of his death - to take the punishment for our sins, to enable us to live with him forever, so that in him we could be clothed in righteousness, to defeat death, ...

Christ is our victor.  Death has no more power.  In the words of John Donne:

Death be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so,
For those whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poor death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee do go,
Rest of their bones, and soul's delivery.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell,
And poppy, or charms can make us sleep as well,
And better than thy stroke; why swell'st thou then?
One short sleep past, we wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.

I'm looking forward to Easter.  Thank you for your prayers!

Blessings,

Elizabeth

1 Thessalonians 4:14

For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.

Ducks, puddles, and toes

Isaac looking at ducks

Last night was a better night and today was a better day though it's actually a bit of a blur.  Isaac saw all of his grandparents again today.  He went for a walk with his Grandpa F. and saw ducks and had fun in a large mud puddle.  It doesn't get much better than that when you're two years old.  

The dietitian came this morning.  Josiah had gained weight since her last visit but only a very small amount.  We're going to increase the feeds a little.  She thought that his early afternoon irritability may be due to the PEG we give him with his noon feed to help him have BMs.  Usually people are on a lot more fluid when they take that medication.  Thankfully Josiah didn't moan as much this afternoon.  The highlight tonight was seeing Josiah getting his toes into his mouth for the first time.  That's my boy!

Josiah enjoying his toes

Last night he actually had sats in the 80s at times.  It doesn't mean a lot but it's always nice to see.  When I was last in his room his sats were 65.

I'm falling asleep so I'll say goodnight.  I did have great news today.  The pharmacist emailed me and said that I can give his last medication of the night at 11:00 PM.  I used to give it at midnight and recently I've been giving it at 11:30 PM.  I'll be able to go to sleep even earlier!  Thank You Lord!

Isaac enjoying a mud puddle

Thanks for your prayers!  We're looking forward to our Good Friday service tomorrow morning.

Blessings,

Elizabeth

 John 15:13
Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

Abundant provision

Josiah was up in the night last night.  He was upset and he seemed to be having difficulty with his swallowing and breathing so I woke up Graham and asked him to draw up the morphine as Josiah's crying increased if I put him down.  I'm not sure if he really needed morphine or not as he seemed to settle quickly,  before the morphine would have been absorbed.  I am thankful that he went back to sleep. 

Isaac was excited to go to a farm today to see baby chicks.  He was able to wear his rubber boots.  After Grandma showed him how, he even mustered up the courage to pet the cat. 

A friend from church came by for a visit and she brought a delicious meal with her.  It was lovely to catch up with her and have her hold Josiah.  Another friend came by tonight for supper.  It was a good day for Isaac's volunteer to come and play with him this afternoon.

Josiah was fussy again after lunch.  The stroller helped.  The nurse thinks it's a digestion issue.  I've contacted the pharmacist to ask some questions regarding his medications.  Josiah's feeds are still half breast milk so I'm wondering how he will tolerate his full formula feeds in a few days.  Please pray that this transition goes smoothly. 

One year ago today, on the last Wednesday in March, I had an MRI at SickKids so they could look at Josiah inside me.  There was actually a team of researchers looking at me and Josiah.  I thank the Lord for whomever told me to take music as I don't think I would have lasted in the machine without it.  Actually, I realized that I had forgotten to charge my old iPod; however, God even provided a charger through one of the research team members.  I listened to Amy Grant's Christmas album in March.  I find it calming.

Following the MRI, I then moved into the home of strangers to await the birth of Josiah.  My eldest brother's former pastor and his wife graciously invited me into their home so that I would be near Mt. Sinai Hospital when I went into labour.  They were strangers for all of two minutes.  I consider this lovely couple to be like family.  They blessed me so much and it was the perfect place to wait.  God provides abundantly.  His love is amazing. 

At the same time, my parents moved into our home to care for Isaac.  God's timing is perfect.  My dad had just retired three months prior and they were already planning to move to Kitchener.  What a blessing for Isaac to be able to stay in his own home while getting used to Grandma and Grandpa caring for him.

It's time to sign off.  Thanks very much for praying!

Blessings,

Elizabeth

Nehemiah 8:10b
Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.

Searching for mud puddles

It was a long night last night.  Josiah did not sleep much and he was hard to console this morning.  We ended up giving him chloral hydrate for the second time since we've been home.  Last time, it seemed to work very quickly but this time it still took us a while to settle him.  I was very tired this morning so I headed back to bed for a nap and my mom took Isaac to the library program that began today.

Isaac had a good time at the library and afterward he enjoyed playing catch with Grandma as you can see in the photos.  Later, he and I had a successful adventure searching for mud puddles outside.  Tonight Isaac didn't want to eat his cauliflower.  He said it would make his tummy sad.  

I just gave Josiah his last meds for the night (hopefully) but he seems wide awake which is not the norm.  He's also very sweaty.  I'll have to sign off for now.  Thanks for your prayers!

Blessings,

Elizabeth

P.S. I enjoyed some delicious spinach soup today!  
  
John 15:5
I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

The negotiator

We put Josiah to sleep in only his diaper last night as he was very sweaty.  I've done the same thing tonight.  He slept well last night and happily awoke around 5:15 AM.  I wasn't feeling too sleepy so I spent some time with him and enjoyed his smiles and laughs.  We all had a good day with nothing too remarkable to report.


Isaac picked up my wallet today.  I told him that a wallet is used to hold money and he doesn't need money, to which he replied, "Yes, Isaac needs money."  I asked him, "What do you need money for?"  He immediately replied, "For new teeth."  He wasn't able to explain to me why he needs new teeth but I assured him that I like his existing teeth.

Isaac enjoying an Easter cookie from a friend

He's a negotiator.  I said I would sing him one song tonight.  He said three.  I said two.  He said five.  

The OT came this morning.  I tried Josiah in our carrier and she said he looked fine there.  It would be nice to go for a walk with him in the carrier.  The smaller oxygen tank comes with a carrying case that I could put on my back.

She was very impressed with Josiah's progress in eating orally.  He still doesn't enjoy having liquids in his mouth.  She suggested that I try the liquid yogurt which is a little thicker.  She'll be back in a couple of weeks and then we're going to try Rice Krispies on his biting surface (his gums).  I'm looking forward to his reaction. 

Thanks so much for your prayers!

Blessings,

Elizabeth

Psalm 34:1
Bless the Lord at all times:  His praise shall continually be in my mouth.

We'll understand why

We slept well last night.  I decided that I would wake up to my alarm at 6:00 AM if Josiah didn't wake me up sooner.  I woke up to my alarm.  I went into his room and he was lying awake and happily kicking his feet, ready with a big smile for Mommy.  I prepared his feed and meds and then I checked the placement of his NG tube in his stomach.  I heard a loud pop like I should but I think perhaps the end of the tube was in a funny place when I pulled back the air because he started heaving as if to throw up.  I picked him up and he kept doing it so I woke up Graham.  New symptoms are always disconcerting.  Graham prayed and I put him back in the crib and was able to give him his medicines and milk and he was fine.  Thankfully he hasn't repeated this. 

We actually made it to church before the service began!  We had extra motivation today.  We pulled in just as my brother and nieces from Ottawa were leaving so it was nice to be able to say goodbye. It was great to see people and actually be able to have a few conversations and hugs.  It's amazing to hear about all of the children who are praying for Josiah.  That means a lot.

We had a belated celebration of Graham's mom's birthday this evening.  It's always great to spend time with family.  Josiah was sleeping on me when they arrived but he later enjoyed cuddles with Grandpa and Grandma.  I do miss having lit candles on birthday cakes.  We don't have any open flames due to Josiah's oxygen.

It's slightly embarrassing to keep repeating things from Ann Voskamp's blog but this is a link she posted for a song by Josh Garrels whom we hadn't heard before now.  

Hopefully I'll remember to take a photo of Josiah tomorrow.  He had some precious laughter a couple of times today.  It's impossible to not laugh along with him.  Peals of laughter in children is beautifully contagious.

There was something in one of the worship songs or in the sermon today that made me think about losing Josiah but right after that I thought about the incredible gift of all the time we've had with him (I want lots more!).  We're already immeasurably blessed to have Josiah in our hearts and our home.  "Farther along we'll know all about it.  Farther along we'll understand why.  So cheer up my brothers, live in the sunshine.  We'll understand this, all by and by."  God is so good.  This life is grand. 

Thank you for your prayers whatever age you are!  We are grateful to you and to the Sovereign God who hears your every word and Josiah's every groan.

Blessings,

Elizabeth

Psalm 103:1
Bless the Lord, O my soul:  and all that is within me, bless his holy name."

Family time

We went to my parent's home for a short visit this morning while the nurse was here to look after Josiah.  My eldest brother and two of my nieces came to stay for the weekend.  My brother spent the afternoon at our house and then we all ate dinner together at my other brother's home in Waterloo.  Isaac is sleeping over there tonight and we'll pick him up from church tomorrow.

We had Isaac try on his new helmet and he insisted on wearing it in the car on the way to see his grandparents.  Isaac had a lot of attention today - from his four girl cousins in particular.  They are all doting cousins.

Josiah had a good day with lots of cuddles.  He travelled well and was very happy before going to sleep tonight.

Thanks so much for your prayers!

Blessings,

Elizabeth

John 15:10-12

If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love.  “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.  This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.

Joy

Isaac enjoyed playing at Grandma and Grandpa's house for a couple of hours this morning while I hung out with my sister-in-law.  I was able to find a frog umbrella for Isaac which I think he will like.  I'll wait until it rains to give it to him as he already wants to wear his rubber boots and there is still lots of snow outside.

Thankfully Josiah had a couple of BMs today.  We stocked up on prunes so hopefully that will help him.  Early afternoon seems to be his worst time of the day but he always enjoys his bath mid-afternoon.

He's moving his hands even more these days.  I went into his bedroom to find him playing with his NG tube attached to the tube with his milk.  I had the tube under a beanbag over his head but he pulled both down.  He loves to play with tubes and he gets mad when I remove them from his hands.

This morning I asked Isaac if he would like me to read a book to him.  He said, "No.  Isaac read."  He then sat on the floor of his room and looked at the book.  Mom said he went right to the books when he arrived at their house and sat down and started turning the pages and telling himself the story.  I caught him in the afternoon looking at this farm story while I was preparing supper.  I'm glad he enjoys books.  I like to read to him.  

Isaac asked me yesterday, "Joy mean?"  I gave him a long-winded answer.  I need to think up a more concise definition like the one I've heard my brother use for patience: "waiting without whining."  I just did a brief Bible review of joy.  In God's presence there is "fullness of joy" (Psalm 16:11) and the "fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace ..." (Galatians 5:22).  I can sing and dance because of Jesus.  Yesterday morning at breakfast, Isaac said it was too early to dance. 

Our boys are a treasured gift from God.  It is our responsibility to love them and raise them for the glory of God.  We believe that "boys will be godly and boys will be honoring and boys will be humble." If I tweeted I would certainly retweet Ann Voskamp's long but powerful blog post of from March 20, "After Steubenville: 25 Things Our Sons need to know about manhood."

Thank you for your prayers!

Blessings,

Elizabeth

Nehemiah 8:10
"...  Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

The blessing of grandparents

Today was a good day.  Isaac and Josiah were able to see all four grandparents and I think the grandparents received smiles from both boys.  I told Isaac we need to thank God for such an amazing blessing - I never had the experience of seeing all four of my grandparents on the same day (they lived overseas).

I'm posting late tonight as I just finished ordering something online as the sale ends tonight.  I still need to fill up the bags with the syringes so this will be short.

Isaac and I went out this morning with my parents to pick out the colour of wool for Isaac's next sweater from Grandma.  On the way home I showed them where to buy samosas.

I enjoyed meeting one of Graham's cousins today whom I never recall meeting.  It was great to marry into two large and wonderful families. 

Josiah didn't have a BM today so he was a little fussier earlier this afternoon.   I was hoping we had rectified this problem as he had two BMs each of the last two days and one BM each of the previous two days.

Isaac didn't have a great night last night due to some cold symptoms.  The symptoms were quite mild today so I'm praying he gets better and not worse.

I received a call from one of our awesome nurse practitioners at SickKids today.  They've been wondering how Josiah is doing so I gave her the update.  I think of so many of the caregivers at SickKids so often and wonder how they are doing.  It was nice to hear from her.   

Thanks so much for your prayers!

Blessings,

Elizabeth

Jeremiah 17:7-8

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, And whose hope is the Lord. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, Which spreads out its roots by the river, And will not fear when heat comes; But its leaf will be green, And will not be anxious in the year of drought, Nor will cease from yielding fruit.

A good sleep

I had a good sleep last night - almost 6 hours in a row!  This should mean that I was alert and focused the rest of the day but unfortunately I was still tired.  Thankfully my parents were around and the volunteer from the Hospice came to spend time with Isaac this afternoon.  He has fun with her.  Isaac was naming the letters for the word "table" and then he said "Bible" to the volunteer as he recognized the "ble" from the song, "The B-I-B-L-E."  Isaac had fun finding tables on which to stick the word.
  
The visiting nurse came this morning and she thought Josiah looked and sounded great.  He had a good day though he was agitated this evening.  Mind you, I woke him up to move him and give him a needle, then we changed his nasal prongs and I put gel up his nose then the evening nurse changed his diaper and put him in a sleeper - so, I guess I would have been annoyed too had I been peacefully sleeping.

We had actually forgotten that a nurse was coming until we opened the door.  She's here from 6:00 to 9:00.

My eyes keep closing so I'll say goodnight.  Thank you for your prayers!

Blessings,

Elizabeth


Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.

Sorry Goliath

I had the car today.  I dropped in at my sister-in-law's home where Isaac had a little play time before we went to see my friend and her new baby who live nearby.  Babies are so small!  This one is very cute and he had the biggest yawns.  I just wanted to keep holding him but it needed to be a short visit as I hadn't made up Josiah's milk and Isaac needed his nap.  I now make up a 24-hour supply of the milk and formula mixture before his noon feed.  It's nice to remove this activity from the already busy evening routine.  

Isaac was acting out David and Goliath with Graham tonight.  Goliath (Graham) fell down on cue and then our Isaac came over to him and said, "Sorry Goliath" in his sweet voice.  I don't think our Children's Bibles explain what happens to Goliath after he falls down.  

Josiah's BMs seem to be back to normal, thankfully.  He also ate very well today and enjoyed his Grandpa time this afternoon.  He had some great smiles and laughs tonight when I was tickling him and also earlier today when I was showing the nurse how Josiah likes to go high up in the air.  I really want to catch his beautiful laughter on video but that hasn't happened yet.

Tonight Graham and Isaac had their milk and Bible time in Josiah's room.  They sat down on the chair beside the crib and Isaac said, "Baby not sick."  I wonder what all goes through his head.    

I'm tired so I'll say goodnight.   Thank you so much for your prayers and support.  I am sorry to the long list of people to whom I owe email responses.  I don't know when/if I'll get to them any time soon. 

Blessings,

Elizabeth

2 Corinthians 12:8-9
Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away.  Each time he said, "My grace is all you need.  My power works best in weakness."  So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.

Excited

I get to this point of the day and I try to remember all that happened.  Josiah woke up happy around 5:00.  I had actually just left Isaac's room where I had fallen asleep after being up with him in the middle of the night.  I thought I'd get back to bed and then Josiah woke up.  He had perfect timing. 

I changed his diaper and then I was able to get a little more sleep after I found a new tickle spot in his underarm.  It's always a hard choice of whether or not to leave him.  He's usually in a great mood then but I also know that I need more sleep so I give him things to play with and make sure he's happy and then I typically try to go back to bed before I need to prepare his milk and meds.

Josiah had a good morning but was quite fussy in the early afternoon.  He falls asleep around 3:30 PM like clockwork.  It's the perfect time for Grandpa to rock him and sing and pray.  Josiah enjoyed his food today and ate a good amount.  He was very happy before bed.  I gave him a toothette to hold (a sponge that I dip in water and put in his mouth for oral care).  His eyes lit up and his feet were kicking and he breathed loudly from excitement.  

Isaac and I had fun labelling doors and walls today.  My kindergarten teacher suggested over a year ago that I label things in our house so that Isaac will start to realize that letters go together into words and that words represent things.  Today we started labelling doors and walls.  He sat on my lap as I wrote the word and then I put tape on the paper and he went and found a "door" to put it on and then he ran back to me to get me to go and see it.  Then we did it all over again.  We certainly enjoyed ourselves.

The nurse pointed out that Josiah's fifth tooth is coming in on the bottom.  He also said that Josiah's nose sounded congested.  He sneezed a couple of times this morning.  He was very sweaty when he went to bed tonight.  He did enjoy eating his food today so that was nice to see. 

It felt like Isaac was going to the potty all morning.  Did I mention that we have a potty in our living room?  When I first read that during the training period he should have a potty in the room where he spends the most time, I did not think I would be following that advice.  However, I'm glad I did follow the advice; it certainly comes in handy when Graham or I are already using the washroom.  I may try to move it to his room soon as that would be convenient during the times when he wakes up in the middle of the night.  

I received amazing cds of children's music from a friend.  Isaac and I have found our new dancing song.

I think I'll try to go to bed early tonight.  Isaac doesn't usually have a very energetic mommy in the mornings.  

We thank you for your prayers!  We couldn't do this alone.

Blessings,

Elizabeth

Isaiah 40:28-31
Have you never heard?  Have you never understood?  The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth.  He never grows weak or weary.  No one can measure the depths of his understanding.  He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.  Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion.  But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.  They will soar high on wings like eagles.  They will run and not grow weary.  They will walk and not faint.

Afternoon walk

The four of us made it to church again.  It was a cold day but we ventured outside in the afternoon and Josiah enjoyed sleeping in the comfort of his stroller.  Isaac was able to stand on our neighbour's skateboard.  He likes to watch the boys skateboard outside of our front window.  Josiah was quite blue today and coughed more this morning.  He was fussier as well.

We were saddened to hear about the sudden passing of one of Graham's extended family members.  Our prayers are with her family.   

Thank you for your prayers!  They make a difference.

Blessings,

Elizabeth

2 Corinthians 4:18
So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen.  For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.

Fighting

While the nurse played with Josiah this morning, I took Isaac on a quick trip to Grandma and Grandpa's house so I could see his new tricycle. There's more room there for him to play with it.  After his nap at home, he awoke to find Grandma F. pushing Josiah in the stroller.

It was an uneventful and good day.

Last night Isaac was pretending.  He said to Graham, "Isaac and Daddy fight."  He took on a fighting stance (with a smile).  We asked him where he learned about fighting and he replied, "The Bible."  Then, he took his Bible and turned to the picture of people fighting when Noah was building the ark.  Isaac had done the exact same pose.  He was talking about being angry and fighting again today so I told him he could be angry about injustice and fight spiritual battles.  I'm not sure it registered.  I have my work cut out for me as I want to have a little peacekeeper. 

Today was the first time we heard Isaac ask the meaning of something.  He started singing the "walking, and leaping and praising God" song so he asked, "rise up mean?"  and then, "healing mean?"
  

It's time to give Josiah his last medicine of the night.  Thank you for your prayers!

Blessings,

Elizabeth

Psalm 105:4
Seek the Lord and His strength; seek His face evermore!

Singing

Thanks for your prayers!  I was up twice with the boys in the night but I had a much better day today.  I was actually singing most of the day.  Isaac and I had lots of laughs and tickles.  He helped me make some chocolate dip this afternoon.  I also had some laughs from Josiah as I held him and quickly went up and down with him. 

My sister-in-law and two of my nieces came by this morning for a visit.  Isaac always likes to play with his cousins.  They keep growing up in front of my eyes.  They are both generous, kind, and creative.  One made Isaac a hat and the other weaved us a coaster.  They've seen their parents' generosity; we enjoyed their soup for supper.

The dietitian was here this morning.  She said that we shouldn't return to seven feeds as our sleep is important.  Josiah has gained a good amount of weight in the last two weeks.  We are increasing the volume of his feeds to 95 millilitres.

The physiotherapist was also here today.  She was once again impressed with Josiah.  When she returns in a few weeks, she's going to bring a Bumbo chair to see if Josiah likes it.  She didn't need to support him as much when he was in the sitting position today.  He's getting lots of practice with his nurse.  We are very blessed to have our nurse.      

Josiah ate better today.  He even enjoyed his mixture of sweet potatoes and chicken. 

Thanks so much for praying!

Blessings,

Elizabeth

Psalm 63:7-8
Because you are my helper, I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings.  I cling to you; your strong right hand holds me securely.

With flying colours

I need to head to bed so this will be brief.  A nurse from Medigas came to assess Josiah's need for oxygen.  He passed with flying colours.  Usually they only need to check once a year but because Josiah was listed under palliative care, they reassess after the first three months.

Josiah was enjoying the funny noises his nurse was making to entertain him today.  He was laughing and smiling.  Isaac joined Josiah in the crib for a little while.  This morning Josiah was on his mat chattering away to himself.  The nurse came to get me so that I could see Josiah as he's never chatted so much before.

Isaac's doing a great job keeping dry and letting us know when he needs to use his potty.  I'm so thankful I picked up that book at the library.

Josiah's BMs are once again less frequent.  I'm sure the decrease in fluid and the increase in formula concentration (due to having one less feed) has affected him.  The dietitian comes tomorrow so we'll see what she has to say.

I feel more "out of it" than usual.  I hope a good sleep tonight will help.  A friend called me tonight and it was nice to catch up.  Thanks so much for your prayers!

Blessings,

Elizabeth

Psalm 46:1-3
God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.  So we will not fear when earthquakes come and the mountains crumble into the sea.  Let the oceans roar and foam.  Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge!

11 Months Old!

Josiah is 11 months old today!  Thank You Lord!

We went to the local hospital this morning for his last RSV shot.  We were also able to pick up a couple of NG tubes for the next time we need them. 

I was tired today and didn't have much energy.  I'm afraid I visited my bed a number of times.  We've had a nurse for this evening so that's been nice.  She'll leave in a few minutes.

My parents took Isaac to their home for a couple of hours this afternoon.  They unveiled his surprise tricycle which they had bought for Christmas.  Apparently he didn't go near it for an hour but then he warmed up and enjoyed it in their basement.  He definitely likes to think about things before jumping in. 

Josiah thoroughly enjoyed his bubble bath today as you can see from the photo.  It always feels great to catch a smile because he usually just gives a blank stare as soon as he sees the camera.  You can see his fourth tooth coming in on top.

I just said goodbye to the nurse.  She didn't put a sleeper on Josiah tonight because she said he was sweating profusely.  She also thought he was working harder at breathing and heard him grunting.  He's sleeping peacefully now.  

I'll say goodnight.  Thank you for your prayers! 

Blessings,

Elizabeth

Psalm 111:2,3,7
How amazing are the deeds of the Lord!  All who delight in him should ponder them.  Everything he does reveals his glory and majesty.  His righteousness never fails. ...  All he does is just and good, and all his commandments are trustworthy.

Surprises

The surprise worked!  At 7:30 PM last night our 'nurse extraordinaire' showed up at which point Graham guessed we were going on a date.  I then let him know that we were going to a Bed & Breakfast for the night as the nurse was staying until 7:30 AM and then transferring Josiah's care to our day nurse.  We had a lovely time away. 

Thankfully Graham was able to arrive late for work this morning as he had some banked time and no major meetings.  Apart from our time at the hospital (not too romantic), this is the first time we've been away from Josiah over night.  As I expected, he slept all night as is now his norm.  The reason for the timing of this getaway is that this nurse usually works with students in a school so as it is March Break she was able to take on this overnight shift.  This is the reason that Isaac was with his grandparents.  My sister-in-law gets full credit for suggesting to me that I plan a night away.  I thank the Lord for working out all the details.

Josiah hardly ate any breakfast or lunch today.  The nurse thinks Josiah is working harder at breathing.  He did say that Josiah wasn't sweating this morning.  I was happy to hear that ... and then I wondered if something was going wrong with that system in his body.  

I went back to stores this afternoon to return items and try on other items.  I keep busy.  If I'm not busy I might find myself stopped at a red light and start to think.  I might say out loud, "My son can't breath very well."  I might acknowledge that he can only eat a few small spoonfuls of the carrots he used to eagerly gobble up because it's too much work to breathe and eat at the same time.  And then I might cry and the light will change and I'll cry all the way home ... making driving a little more challenging. 

Isaac has returned.  My parents went to pick him up today.  He gave me lots of great cuddles.  He'll keep me busy.   A friend once told me that having children allowed her to understand God's love more.   I know I want to give my boys gifts and I want them to enjoy them.  I get great pleasure from spending time with them and watching them use their gifts, even if they are just rubber boots with dinosaurs on them .  Isaac liked this surprise.  Bring on the mud puddles!

Josiah enjoyed his supper of apples and mangos.  There are always blessings.

I must say goodnight.  Thank you for your prayers!

Blessings,

Elizabeth

Psalm 119:91-93, 143, 165
Your regulations remain true to this day, for everything serves your plans.  If your instructions hadn't sustained me with joy, I would have died in my misery.  I will never forget your commandments, for by them you give me life. ... As pressure and stress bear down on me, I find joy in your commands. ... Those who love your instructions have great peace and do not stumble.

Early post

Isaac is away tonight so I thought I'd post early and spend more time with Graham.  I drove with Graham to work and then picked up my mom for a shopping expedition.  Shopping would be close to the bottom of my list for things to do on a day "off" but it had to be done.

Isaac's been having fun at Grandma and Grandpa's house.  Josiah had a fairly good day.   I can hear my dad singing to him now while he holds him in the chair.

I left a message for the dietitian this morning as we decided to skip the late night feed last night as well.  She ended up dropping by while I was out and she wrote out new instructions for how to make up Josiah's feeds.  Please pray that he tolerates the new amount of food and continues to grow.  Once again he was very happy when he woke up this morning around 5:30 and he slept through the night.  However, he was already receiving much less fluid than a healthy child his age.  If he's upset or he doesn't continue to grow, I think I'll go back to feeding him at midnight but if this works it would be wonderful.  I'll email the pharmacist and find out how early I can give Josiah's last medications which are currently scheduled at midnight.

We had been giving Josiah a bath every other day (the royal we) but I asked the nurse today if he would mind giving Josiah a bath every day.  He's so sweaty and stinky (especially his head and hair).  He sweats because he is working harder at breathing.  Wow - my son works so hard to breath that he actually sweats profusely.  I'm not sure if I want to process that or not.   I don't think I process a lot of this.  When he wakes up during the night I usually need to change the receiving blanket under him as it is damp.

I saw a mom carrying a baby today and I thought how lovely it would be to carry Josiah completely unencumbered by tubes and oxygen.  And then I remind myself how lovely it is to be able to carry him at all.

Have a good night!  Thanks for your prayers!

Blessings,

Elizabeth   

1 Corinthians 13:4
Love is patient and kind.  Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.  It does not demand its own way.  It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Celebrating

What a beautiful day!  Josiah escaped the confines of our home for a stroller ride in the sunshine and fresh air!  I was actually returning from a celebration with with my mother-in-law and I saw Graham, his dad, Isaac, and Josiah going for a walk.  We stopped the car and I jumped out to join them.  It was such a lovely sight for me to see.  

We were very tired this morning and decided that we needed to rest at home.  We may have received some wisdom due to this time change.  We decided to skip Josiah's midnight feed last night and we gave him his drugs at 11:30 instead of 12:00.  Josiah woke up happy and laughing.  Skipping the feed meant that we had an extra milk on hand so we also didn't make up the new milk until this morning, after his 6:00 AM feed, thus giving us one less thing to do in the evening.  The dietitian comes this Friday so I'll ask her if we can fortify the six feeds from 6:00 AM to 9:00 PM and skip the midnight feed permanently.   We certainly don't want to deprive Josiah but if he can continue to gain weight with one less feed, everyone will probably benefit with the increase in our sanity and energy. 

This afternoon my mother-in-law and I attended a lovely celebration for a baby girl on the way.  We look forward to meeting her soon.  It was so nice to see so many family members whom I haven't seen in months.  This baby girl will be enveloped in love by the wonderful Martin family. 

Isaac eagerly went with Grandma and Grandpa F. to their home this afternoon.  It was cute to watch him pulling his suitcase through our hallway.  That reminds me that it was also cute to see him enjoying the mud puddle on our sidewalk (I'm afraid this mom is smitten - there's not a whole lot about my boys that I don't find cute - whining and screaming are on that list though - both of which were happening this morning).

It seems easier to make Josiah laugh these days.  He also seems sleepier.  The last two mornings he has gone back to sleep shortly after his 6:00 AM feed and has slept for another hour and a half.  

A friend from church came over with some food for our freezer and another friend sent a gift to help our dishwasher work better!  We certainly don't do without!  We are so blessed and thankful for all the love and support.

It's time to head to bed.  Thank you very much for your prayers.

Blessings,

Elizabeth

Colossians 1:15
"Christ is the visible image of the invisible God.  He existed before anything was created and is supreme over all creation ..."

A walk in the sunshine

I'm writing this later than I planned as my computer charger had died so my prince went and bought me a new cord just before the store closed at 9:00.  We lose an hour tonight so I'll keep this brief.

Josiah had lots of laughs today.  We pretended to throw him up in the air and he responded with smiles and laughter. 

A nurse was here this morning.  We went for a walk with Isaac and my parents in the sunshine.  It was nice to be together outside.  I'm really looking forward to taking Josiah out for a stroller ride when it's a little warmer. 

My parents and my one brother and his family were all here for a delicious dinner cooked by my brother.  It's always nice to be together.

Thanks for all your prayers!


Blessings,

Elizabeth

Jude 1:2
Mercy, peace, and love be yours in abundance. 

Photos

I was visited today by the wonderful couple who graciously and generously welcomed me into their Toronto home last year to await Josiah's birth.  They brought delicious soup with them for lunch.  It was a delight to see them and enjoy their company. 

This morning, I received a DVD with the photos we had taken earlier this year.  They were taken by Michlynn Schweitzer who has a studio in Baden.  She volunteers with the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Foundation.  We thoroughly enjoyed our session with her.  I've included a few photos in this post.

This afternoon, the volunteer from the Hospice of Waterloo Region came to visit Isaac.  Isaac always looks forward to her visit when I let him know she's coming.  The Hospice received a donation and they gave Isaac a really nice recycling truck.  His eyes became very big and excited when he saw the truck.  It's such a delight to see your child in delight.

Josiah had a pretty good day.  He's still eating less and is very sweaty but he certainly had smiles.  My dad thought his face looked puffier since he last saw him.  I was able to tickle Josiah's tummy so that he responded with beautiful belly laughs.  He can't do it too many times in a row but it is so lovely to see.

We had another good potty training day.  He's just worn a t-shirt and underwear all week (as per the book's instructions) so I'm going to have to try Isaac in pants soon.

Thank you all for your prayers and support!  I hope you have a great weekend.

Blessings,

Elizabeth
 
1 Corinthians 1:9
God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.