Isaac and I went to the library program this morning. The lady beside me commented on how still he sat during the story time. He seems like such a different boy in a public group setting with strangers. He's a quiet boy then, taking everything in. He gets more comfortable over time, like his Mommy.
We've been sleeping better and I didn't enter Isaac's room until 7:25 this morning. Actually, the last two days I've tried not to nap because on Sunday night both Graham and I were wired at midnight and couldn't get to sleep for a while.
Graham and I came across a couple of inspiration videos two nights ago. One told about a clear miracle in which someone who should have died (the doctors had said it was time to harvest his organs) woke up again. Instead of being jealous, I was actually comforted. What a desolate place this world would be if everything was by chance. Josiah's death didn't take God by surprise. God had to allow it for it to happen. A comforting reminder that God is in control. I wouldn't want to live in any other way.
I was preparing dinner and I knew Isaac was doing something in Josiah's room. When I went back, I found that he'd taken all of the picture frames that we'd used at the visitation and set them up.
We went to the cemetery tonight so these are photos from tonight's adventure. He wanted to wear his boots which was a good thing because it was raining on Isaac. He likes the deer
made from twigs (below). There's also a little dog on a memorial stone that he called his friend and he patted. We'll have to get a picture of it.
Thanks so much for your prayers!
Blessings,
Elizabeth
Psalm 23:4
Yea,
though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no
evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
I like the deer too Isaac. Elizabeth & Graham, when we went through a difficult time a few years ago, the deer was a sign for us, which God used to point us to Psalm 42. Perhaps it will comfort you also.
ReplyDeleteI know you have been given advice from many friends and followers of your Blog.
ReplyDeleteMy wife and I are members of WPA and have watched your trials over the past 15 months. I have seen lots of people come up to you and look at Josiah, give you a hug and go on their way. What does someone say to a person going through the trials you have had to face for the last 15 months, how does one say sorry for the hurt you must feel.
For myself I say nothing but in the quite times I ask myself what would I do in your situation. I read your Blogs and just cry, because that is what I would do if I was in your situation. Graham was correct in saying that men are the ones who break down in such a situation and women seem to be able to stay strong.
The question I would have to ask myself is WHY is this happening to me. Is there really a God. Both my wife and I have joined the many people in praying for both of you and Josiah, asking for a miracle.
I have heard many people say they have heard from God, I ask myself why that does not happen to me. Sometimes I have a thought and say to myself is that God, or just my imagination.
The other day when I was driving to work, I was thinking about both of you and your comments about grief. The thought came to me that you already have been grieving for the past 15 months. What greater pain can a parent have then to see their child suffering. And what greater relief to the same parent to see finally the elimination of pain for their child. You have mentioned that people have said stupid things to you, hopefully my comments are not hurtful. That is not what I intended.
I have experienced seeing pain inflicted on my son, he is the light in my life, my best friend. My grief at his pain was immediate. But felt joy once he had healed from his injury.
Take care.