Fragile

I was able to get a little more sleep last night so I thank God for that.  I'm tired so this won't be the novel from yesterday.  I was able to hold it together easily for the meeting at the funeral home and the cemetery.  Erb & Good funeral home is amazing.  They completely cover all internal expenses for a child's funeral.  It's incredibly generous and a huge blessing.  One should not have to plan their child's funeral. 

Isaac hung out with his aunt and cousin today and had a good time.

One should not have to go shopping for their child's funeral.  I have a little free advice for you.  If someone says to you, "It's hard to know what to wear to your child's funeral," your response (when you realize that the person's child has died) should not be, "Don't worry, you're still young."  I realize that people don't know what to say at times like this but that line is really not a winner.  Thankfully they said it to Graham and I was in the change room.  He didn't respond.  We joked about it but I thought this would be a good public service announcement to make on the blog.  (I'm hoping this paragraph doesn't sound mean.)

There was a message on the answering machine when we returned.  The pharmacy was calling because they had received some information about Josiah but they didn't realize what had happened so I called them back to let them know and that was a little hard.  A few minutes later the owner (one of the pharmacists) called back.  He was so kind as he offered his condolences.  Beechwood Wellness Pharmacy has been very good to us and they liked to ask how Josiah was doing.  Another one of the pharmacists called us later as well.

In my perfect plan I was going to be able to go to my hairdresser on Thursday morning but I called and she's not there then.  Things like this set off the tears, not because there's anything wrong or unexpected about a hairdresser not being available but just because I'm fragile right now.  I said the tears were set off but I should have said the flood waters opened.  As I'm typing I feel fine but I know that the sadness and pain are not far from the surface if I chose to open the door.  

We have ice cream each July 8th as this was the due date for our first baby.  We actively remember that baby with traditions twice a year.  It was different this year to remember that baby while grieving the loss of Josiah.  I've talked to Isaac about this baby in the past but Graham wisely thought we shouldn't include him in our tradition this year as it would be confusing given all that's happened with Josiah.  Graham told me he asked again to see Baby Josiah this evening.

I need to go through my various lists and make plans for what needs to happen these next couple of days.
Again, we are so thankful that the funeral isn't until Thursday as it means there is a little time to cry in between doing things.

Oh yes, the details and obituary can be found on the Erb & Good website.  The visitation will take place at the funeral home on Wednesday from 2-4 and 6-8 and the funeral service will take place at Waterloo Pentecostal Assembly this Thursday at 10:30 AM. 

I found this video a few weeks ago.  This was my prayer for both of my boys:

Thank you so much for your prayers for our family.  We've so appreciated your emails and comments.  Thank you!  

Blessings,

Elizabeth

Psalm 116:15
Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.